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General (ARCHIVED) => The DKMU Vault => Oistars => Topic started by: Frater Theodbald on February 23, 2015, 05:41:59 pm

Title: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on February 23, 2015, 05:41:59 pm
The goal of the excercise is for each participant to make one magical operation of a specific godform in the course of one week, going through all of them one at a time.  After that, we give ourselves a one month period for everyone to write and share results, with the eventual possibility of all participants to publish in a compendium / grimoire for future reference.


Feel free to share techniques / procedures / methodologies in the thread below.

Timeframe:

March 1-7 : Ellis
March 8-14 : DB / 663
March 15-21 : Ino
March 22-28 : Trigag
March 29- Apr 4 : Zalty
Apr 5-11 : Red King
Apr 12-18 : White Queen
Apr 19-25 : Eno & Nul, the twins.
Apr 26-Apr 30 / May 2 : Conjunctio
May 3-31 : writing and sharing of results.
June 1 - ??? : possible collection and formal publication.

Useful Links:

On the Godforms:
http://www.dkmu.org/texts/category/2-general?download=10%3Afrater-es-the-dkmu-godforms (http://www.dkmu.org/texts/category/2-general?download=10%3Afrater-es-the-dkmu-godforms)
Further info:
http://www.dkmu.org/texts/category/2-general?download=2%3Afrater-es-a-brief-examination-of-156663 (http://www.dkmu.org/texts/category/2-general?download=2%3Afrater-es-a-brief-examination-of-156663)
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on February 23, 2015, 06:51:54 pm
So they say that you have to lead by example, so here goes...

First off, this is what I did last time:
http://juankurse.magiqc.net/marainvo.html (http://juankurse.magiqc.net/marainvo.html)

Every ritual was different from each other.  This time I want to make everything much simpler, and use the same structure and props for each ritual.  Minimal use of props.

1) Banishing rite  (see below.)
2) Opening rite  (http://juankurse.magiqc.net/txt/DKMU-EvocationKhaos.pdf (http://juankurse.magiqc.net/txt/DKMU-EvocationKhaos.pdf))
3) Evocation specific to the Godform of the Week  (http://www.dkmu.org/texts/category/2-general?download=10%3Afrater-es-the-dkmu-godforms)
4) Divination  (Tarot, scrying, automatic writing, etc.)
5) Closing rite (spontaneous.)

Props: Red Candle (for all workings), Rutilated Quartz Crystal, Spider, Divination prop, Sigil of the Godform.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on February 24, 2015, 12:03:51 am
This is a very good plan. Also I really appreciate the way you share your results Frater Theodbald. Not everyone likes to do that I know, but every time I post my results I invite others to do the same.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on February 25, 2015, 10:08:40 pm
Ellisian Banishing
By DKMU

Based on the Psychonaut's own Paradigm, determine the direction of Most importance; stand facing it.

Imagine an equilateral triangle on the ground beneath and surrounding you. The Triangle should point behind you. (You shoud stand facing the flat "bottom" of the triangle, perpendicular to your direction of choice, Ex; assuming northerly orientation, you face north, with a point of the triangle behind you, facing south)

1) Arms out, head back. Eyes closed, a preliminary intonation of the psychonauts choosing should mark the begining of the ritual. Ex; IAO, IEAOU, AUM, Ect. Given the nature of the ritual, divine names or vibrations are directly advised against; Neutrality in the focus is necessary.

2) Directly in front of you, on the flat "Bottom" of the Triangle, Trace a vertical line, Vibrating as you do so; "Ellis" This is the Primary Vertical Line of the Linking Sigil.

3) From the ending of that line, trace a horizontal line out to the right, this is the primary horizontal line of the Linking Sigil. Vibrate "Raliq" while doing so.

4) From there, trace a line from the top right of the vertical line down, about half the distance of the horizontal line to a point about 3/4s of the way down on the left-hand side, extending out roughly half the distance of the horizontal line; this is the topmost line of the "S" in the Linking Sigil. Vibrate "Fout"

5) From there, continue your line back to the right, parallel with the first horizontal line about half it's distance over (this line should be ending directly underneat where the previous line began) this is the horizontal line in the 's'. Vibrate "Eb"

6) Finally, continue the line back down and to the left, perfectly bisecting the joint of the first two lines, ending directly under where the previous line began. this is the final line of the Linking Sigil. Vibrate "Shud" while tracing.

7) Breath through one full breath, bringing your arms straight down to your sides, with your forearms and hands tilted down and away from the body.

8 ) Rotate your right arm clockwise, through the chest region, out roughly 60deg above the head (forming the Sign of Apophis and Typhon with the right half of your body)

9) Invoke the Sacred Child. She Stands to the right of you, at the Corner of the Triangle where "Bottom" meets "Side" (Assuming Northerly Orientation; the Northeast corner of the room)

10) Rotate the both arms counterclockwise into the chest (sign of Osiris Risen)

11) Invoke the Lover, she Stands Directly Behind you, at the "Top" Corner of the Triangle" (Assuming Northerly Orientation; The South Corner of the Room)

12) Rotate both arms counterclockwise again, the right arm moving down to it's original position, the left arm moving up to 60deg above the head (Forming the Sign of Apophis and Typhon with the left side of the body)

13) Invoke the Red Queen. She Stands To the Left of you, at the Corner of the Triangle where "Bottom" meeds "Side" (Assuming Northerly Orientation, the Northwest corner)

14) Rotate the Left Arm Clockwise, returning to the original Position. Raise the arms directly up into a "cross pose" (the Sign of Osiris Slain)

15) Perform another Choice Vibratory exclaimation.

16) Turn clockwise to the next face of the triangle (assuming Northerly orientation, the Southeast), bowing to the Sacred Child on the way.

17) Perform steps 2-6 on the new face.

18) Perform Steps 7-15, invoking the Sacred Child, Lover, and Red Queen in their SAME Locations (using the Left hand for the Child, Right hand for the Lover, and going to the chest for the Queen)

19) repeat steps 2-15 for the final (southwest, assuming northerly orientation) for the last face, Ending with another final Vibratory Exclaimation. The Aspects of Ellis again retain their original placement, the Child being first Invoked at the rear by rotating the arms inward (clockwise for the right, counter for the left) to cross the chest (osiris slain), the lover next (dropping the right arm back, moving the left onward) and the Queen last (bringing the left arm back and the right up)

20) Return to the starting face and the "cross pose" (osiris slain), Bowing to the Queen on the way. and close the ritual with a proclaimation (Not a Vibration)

___

Notes on the Gestures; The arms are always rotated inward; across the chest.

Note on the proclaimation; Personal Tradition leads me to recommend the latin "Ave" as the finale for any Ellisian working. I've found it's combination of Brevity and Declaration makes it a wonderful punctuation mark.

Notes on the Invocations; These are intended to be brief intonations, but open to personalization by the psychonaut. In the initial castings, I used the (shitty) greek vibrations "Idou; Heiros Teknon!", "Idou; Erastis!", and "Idou; Kokino Basilissa!" For the Sacred Child, Lover, and Red Queen respectively. The Psychonaut is encouraged to assume any method or vibration preferred.

Practical note; When using the Ellisian Banishing in Ritual, Shift the directional alignment so that the alter falls at (or "close to") the corner containing the aspect most appropriate to the ritual. My correspondences follow;

The Sacred Child; Ellis as the Bringer of Chaos. She of the Bitten Fingers. The Glitterbomber. The Trickster and bringer of Change.

The Lover; Ellis as the Idealist; The Magician, Bringer of Power and giver of Knowledge. Lady of Ambitions and Desires.

The Red Queen; Ellis as the Unifier. She of the Webs. Lady of Stability and Community.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Nick Conrado Yeates on February 26, 2015, 04:42:39 am
http://wp.me/p2F7pc-7u
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on February 27, 2015, 11:00:10 am
If we want to we can all use the same basic framework but with infinite variations according to the individual, like we did with the Halloween project. I think that works well and is fun. You really feel that you are participating in a group ritual.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: The Cusp on February 27, 2015, 07:18:54 pm
I made this for Ellis week.  It's intended purpose is less ego, more attention, and Fewer emotional outbursts, more calm control.

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/71/8e/8d/718e8db13dbe703ed287e85ab91ac2f3.jpg)

No chanting, no ritual, it just is.  I made it, I put it out there, and I'll always know it's out there, doing it's things.  Maybe I'll look at it on occasion as a reminder, a means to refocus. 
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on March 03, 2015, 04:10:55 pm
So I did this week's working last night.  It went rather well.


(http://s30.postimg.org/uamxgafgx/IMG_20150303_042800.jpg)


(http://s30.postimg.org/9298yv101/IMG_20150303_042441.jpg)


I started off with the Ellisian Banishing.  For the vibrations, I used "Hekas, Hekas Este Bebeloi", "IAO" and "Esto".  I found it surprisingly easy to memorize and short to do.  The fact that it is so detailed makes it look complicated, but the sheer detail of it simplify the whole learning process by a longshot.  The fact that it uses a triangular pattern rather than a square pattern threw me off a bit, as I am used to the four corners approach.  All in all, I feel that I need more practice with this technique and it's a good thing, because that's what I'll be doing for the next few months...

Second was the Transvocation to Khaos.  To put it simply, it blew my fucking mind.  I was sitting on a low table, in the position of Eliphas Lévi's Baphomet, visualising myself as the Goat of Mendes itself, yet focussing on my "ontological point", the center of my being.  I was reading the invocation and was capable of maintaining a good concentration on its content and symbols.  It was when I got to the final calling, IA! IA! IA! &c., that things felt like they were exploding.  My whole body got incredibly hot, I was in sweat, my voice changed into something that I had never heard before.  I guess I learned a new way of vibrating my enchantments that I had never thought possible - nor could I have ever seen myself capable of such a thing.  While I was previously capable of making my thorax vibrating during incantations, this was particularly booming and felt like my whole body was implicated.  I was also detatched from it all.  I had a sense of incredible power (hey, a good dose of megalomania is always healthy in magic, as I always say) and at the same time, I was thoroughly frightened by what was going on.  A feeling of being "in control" and totally "out of control" simultaneously.  At the end of the Transvocation, I don't know what the hell came out of me, sounded like a "primordial first breath" or something.  A loud inspiration followed by a long expiration.  Never before had I felt my lungs so full and then so empty.  After it was done, I needed a long moment of silence, I was quite shaken up. 


The next evocation of Ellis felt small and weak in particular.  Perhaps did I make a "mistake" in my procedure as I was unable to carry the Khaos Transvocation feeling into the Ellis Evocation.  I'll have to work on that for the next one.  Also, it is to note that the Khaos Transvocation is indeed more elaborate symbolically than the Ellis Transvocation.  Nonetheless, I believe I was able to stay concentrated and carry it out.


The divination went rather well, despite being short.  I'm still analyzing the symbols that came out of my scrying ball.


I ended the ritual with, first, redoing the Ellisian Banishing rite, which I felt I greatly needed.  I hesitated a bit to do the Star Ruby, as I've been doing it for a while and have good results with it.  But I didn't want to break the atmosphere.  To me, doing the Star Ruby would be equivalent of 'chickening out and taking the easy way' so I in redoing the Ellisian Banishing, I made sure I did it much better than the first time.


Once all was said and done, I was standing there, feeling disoriented.  I needed some time to sit on my couch and calm the fuck down.  It felt like the coming down of an acid trip all condensed in fifteen minutes.


All in all, I'm very satisfied with the overall intensity of my first week of the Godform Cycle and look forward to Doombringer.  The fact that we do it once a week instead of once in 3 days relaxes the intensity a bit and I have less chance of falling into a magical psychosis, HA!  So I guess it's all good.



Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: OmniZero on March 04, 2015, 09:41:35 am
I'm jumping into this again, why not? I'll post details this time, and try to finish the last of my godforms paintings by the end.


Edit: Literally the day I started: http://www.vancitybuzz.com/2015/03/massive-chemical-fire-port-metro-vancouver/
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Luna G on March 07, 2015, 08:45:07 am

The Red Queen was welcomed last night.


I will compile my notes in a document that will be available at the end of the marathon.


Divination:
Left: XIII - Death / 7 of wands
Center: XV - Devil / 2 od cups *reverse*
Right: VI - Lovers *reverse*/ Ace of sword


(http://s14.postimg.org/o4z14z47l/251732_10155220126180462_8991805909230713054_n.jpg)
(http://s16.postimg.org/mzdtkmydh/1506974_10155220126170462_6550160185698529301_n.jpg)


Salud!
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 07, 2015, 01:13:00 pm

Portable alter: this and a ring of candles.

(http://s29.postimg.org/6bkaqx9jb/portable.jpg)


Got through the banishing and found out the security guard didn't like my singing. Shame, really, because I thought the intonation was pretty good. I relocated to a more rural area and started over. I tried a couple different types of scrying, both of which got me nothing; I think the cold prevented me from relaxing fully. I'll write up more details in May.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Balefir Mellayne on March 08, 2015, 10:33:41 am
(https://scontent-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/11024215_715046935279961_5791190702962972332_n.png?oh=842dd4f1a605ec2d6f5f04e5d7a115ae&oe=5591DB73)

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.715035821947739.1073741871.180164872101506&type=1

""Elizi Danto" is an idol of Ezili (Erzulie) Dantor (Danto) that was crafted using the LS/Ellis network (of Chaos Magick). It's a play on the names Ezili + Ellis = Elizi. Papa Legba was also invoked of course in order to channel Ezili."

I have her on my etsy shop, but really want to get her to the right person who will form a relationship with her (and report on results).  I had a secondary purpose that I was inputting as financial gain, but should have been specific to business success.  I did get quite the large and unexpected cash injection the day after finishing, but it wasn't art related.

I don't know if I'm doing the full cycle, but my last Legba had more than a few 663 traits and I did want to do another...
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Luna G on March 10, 2015, 10:00:15 am
For those interested, I regrouped the rituals suggested for the Godforms cycle.

If people want, I can add the Evocation of the week.

I'm mostly adding as I go along.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/DomusKaoticaMarauderUnderground/1022272701135832 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/DomusKaoticaMarauderUnderground/1022272701135832)
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 10, 2015, 01:58:22 pm
Good compilation. I've been using the one Nick added further up:  http://wp.me/p2F7pc-7u (http://wp.me/p2F7pc-7u)    The 7 Gates of Chaos.
You could add that one into the document as well.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Kiki on March 10, 2015, 03:27:37 pm
So I didn't go as big as you guys seem to have, but I did do something for Ellis. I drew the LS in red on white paper, lit a red candle, set it on my black ritual tray and invited her over for some dream time. I ended up having no dreams at all- just an empty nothing- which is indicative of successful contact in my experience (seems no matter what entity I try to work with in dreamland it ends up being blank). The crazy thing was that when I woke up, the candle had burned down completely, except for instead of the wax disappearing or burning out or what not, just the wick did. All of the candle wax remained in the holder as if it had never burned.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on March 11, 2015, 12:35:40 am
I haven't done the Doombringer evocation this week yet, but I've been practicing the Ellisian Banishing Ritual.  Easy to memorize, but hard to understand and hence perform.  I've been doing LBRPs and Star Rubys and LSRPs which are all 4-sided that the triangular method was alien to me at first.  Now I may actually be getting a hang of it!


I think I've finally figured out the three proclamations to use in the ritual.  The first: "Hazah!  Hazah!  Zazahexazaz!" (Because double-crowley, biatche!)  The second, "Hekas!  Hekas, este bebeloi!"  (I used to do it as a starting proclamation, but it didn't feel right.  And I had previously tried the IAO vibration but it didn't feel quite right either.)  The third: "Esto."  (Been using it since the beginning, felt right since the start.)  A part of me is encouraged by the proclamation, "... and from this rite, I untie the worlds!" but it still feels a bit strange.


I've also added the circle-pointing, as done in the LBRP.  It works kind of well.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 11, 2015, 10:42:04 pm
You all aren't going to believe this :D Except he said you probably would... But I'll save it.


I was able to do a more elaborate altar this week.


(http://s9.postimg.org/rwxqjyg8f/2015marathon_663.jpg)
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on March 13, 2015, 01:40:20 pm
So this week is Doombringer!  I did my ritual last night.  I took 2 pictures, but not sure which one is the best:

(http://s11.postimg.org/my2vdv77n/IMG_20150313_033806_1.jpg)


(http://s24.postimg.org/bxh8es9zp/IMG_20150313_033741_1.jpg)


As you can see, the altar setup is very similar to my Ellis working, as I'm trying to maintain a standard or a similarity between rituals.  I put on my Discordian Lab Coat for the rite (of course).


So I had had a particularly shitty day at work, and concentration was rather more difficult.


The first Ellisian Banishing went rather well, and I'm glad I practiced it.


The Transvocation to Khaos was nowhere near as intense as the first time, which had genuinely surprised me, though it still felt effective.  I think I'm going to need a better paper to read it from, or maybe even put on my glasses next time.  I stuttered a bit during the reading and did not like it very much.


It was then the actual Invocation of The Doombringer that went really well.  The wording was rather awkward at first but as soon as the Sacrament was taken and the final mantra recited, something inside the center of my torso "happened" - I felt tears roll down my cheeks that "something changed" and that there was something in the past of which I have to let go.


The divination was fruitful, many symbols which I will compile and try to analyse later on.


When I did the final Ellisian Banishing ritual, all of the imagery was so vivid!  It's as if my visualisation ability and technique was doubled!  In that tiny ritual, I learned a lot about it and now appreciate it even more.  Lots of red in my mind, now.


Once the formal part of the operation was finished, it didn't end there!  I still felt the presence of 663 radiating inside of me - and, let's admit it, the sacrament too - and was compelled to pick up my copy of The Field Manual for the Strange Psyche to read the invocation written there.  I copied it here for posterity's sake.

I am the one, the one and only;
I am everything, and everything is nothing.
Behold the truth, and behold the light
and behold as I destroy it all!
I am the one, the one and only;
I am everything, and everything is nothing.
I am truth, and I am lies
I am the end of it all!
IA DOOMBRINGER! AWAKEN KHAOS!
(Repeat last part until satisfied.)


The next thing that happend was extensively strange.  It felt as if this working was interfering with another previous working.  In January, I had undertaken a 14-day Transvocation taken from Chumbley's Dragon Book of Essex.  The effects were quite palpable and have been felt ever since.  Because of this - there was seemingly interference.  Something between the 'dragon' part of me and the 'centeral chakra-thingie' in the center.  At that point I just zonked out into trance.  Conversing with both Doombringer and Azhdeha.  I was in a world of dream, conciliating the two magical influences together, integrating them together, and trying to make something whole.  Maybe I should have compartamentalized?  In the end they both melted into each other.  A little something in my heart felt oh so good and liberated. 

The 'protection' of the Discordian Lab Coat was no longer necessary at that point and the next thing I knew I was getting ready to go to sleep.  I didn't sleep right away, though, I was far away in trance land, in my now motionless body, under the warm covers, immersed in visions.


I woke up early, feeling particularly well rested and stronger emotionally.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 15, 2015, 02:31:50 am
That's the same Doombringer invocation that I used. I'm always impressed by Doombringer's dual personality; when I first started with DKMU he used to try and frighten me, then as soon as he initiated me as a member his whole manner changed and he became helpful and patient, and with a sense of humour. He's only a chaos beast to his enemies, and as a test. It makes me fond of him.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Luna G on March 15, 2015, 11:24:30 am
(http://s13.postimg.org/j2tqkmpmb/IMG_3113.jpg)

Godforms cycle 2015
March 14th – Doombringer


I started off the ritual with the Ellisian banishing, followed by the Transvocation of Xaos. Doombringer was then carefully drawn.


Considering that 663 is linked to Papa Legba, I felt it was appropriate to wear a Top hat for the drawing and the evocation of Doombringer.


Some interruptions happened while doing the ritual : people came in and at some point the music stopped, transferred it on my cell instead.


Once the drawing done, I proceeded with the evocation, the libation and divination.


The cards that came up are:
Left : 0-The Fool / Knight of wands
Top : XIV-Tempérance / 9 of wands
Right: VI-Lover / Knight of wands
Bottom: XXI-The World / 4 of wands


The night before, I went to a friend’s house and she made me a reading. The spreading mainly came down to “I need to let go of my intellect in order to die a have a rebirth”.


Sitting on the floor, Legba was there with his grin. He slowly changed into this floating black chromed figure. Legba and 663 kept inter changing. At some point, the figure had a double edge axe in their right hand.


I knew what was coming and I felt at peace. I straightened my head and told them I was ready. I felt a slow, cold blade going throw my neck. My head fell down.


After a moment, I slowly held my head back up. At that moment, Legba looked at me and asked me “what do you feel about the cards?”


I went on, reading the cards. The message that came out was very personal to my current journey.


Some photography of the altar followed the reading and I finished by just thanking them.


(http://s22.postimg.org/qihnj1w1d/IMG_3083.jpg)


(http://s9.postimg.org/j2bwwnk5b/IMG_3089.jpg)
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 19, 2015, 10:01:22 am
Looks like we are not going to wait until May to comment on our rituals, so I will add my comments about the first three now. I was really keen on the suggestion to have a common pattern to all of them, and it was great the way this discussion came together with several people contributing  bits of  the pattern. Even if you’re not going to  have a fixed format like in ceremonial magic you still need some structure and some input from those who are more experienced.

So I’ve been starting each ritual by putting on the relevant music  from last year’s Konceptonimicon which I still use. Then I construct a circle with the wand, light a red candle and say part of the Khaos transvocation. Then the 7 Gates of Chaos, and then an invocation of the godform of the week. I use altar cloths and candles in the colour of the godform  and dress partly or entirely in that colour as well. We appear to me to have two red godforms, Ellis and the Red King, two white ones Ino and the White Queen, and two black ones Doombringer and Trigag. Zalty is different and he is blue, though I understand  other colours are often included as well for him. After the invocation I offer sacraments and do some meditation, including meditation on whatever picture I have put up on the Project Oistar group for the week. Then I go on to a divination, which again we all seem to be including this time, and then close down.

Ellis. I had a most ecstatic experience with Ellis. When I offered her some rose incense my heart centre opened and I felt like there was a channel through my heart and the veil was torn open through that channel. In my mind I could see blood flowing away in every direction. Then the chakra rotated in time with the music I was playing. When I offered Ellis some raspberry cakes the same happened to my third chakra, and when I offered her red cherry brandy the same happened to my second chakra. I sensed that she was using  a finite amount of  energy to produce these effects and yet I could have carried on experiencing them for longer than I did. They were rather overwhelming, especially the first one.

When I did some meditation on the Spider Queen picture I experienced the black background as the chaos void and the spider as the cosmos, and Ellis as Shakti, the goddess at the centre of it all. Then I felt united with her and it was me who was Shakti, while the channel down the middle of my spine (the sushumna in Yoga teachings) became the cosmos. It was a lovely feeling to get lost in all this Yoga symbolism.

For the divination I looked into a black mirror, however all I could see was rocks and seascapes, and also a landscape from a meditation a long time ago which influenced something I wrote this week.


Doombringer. For Doombringer I had everything black and I called him using the 'One and Only' invocation. Doombringer always has a good sense of humour and this time was no different. As I was starting the ritual Doombringer told me that the black cloak I was wearing looked ridiculous. It was from a Pagan group that I used to belong to; the leader decided we were going to make cloaks but I didn't want to, and it never got finished.He said " why don't you wear it the other way round?" So I took it off and turned it round and he was right: it worked better back to front!

I always offer Doombringer tobacco because I know he likes either tobacco or pot. He reminded me of the first time I invoked him, that time when he showed me how to go to the next step after communicating with him and turn it into possession. I hadn't done it since, but he said  that the intervening time between then and now does not exist. During the meditation I had some really good insights. I saw that I exert too much control over those urges to break all the bounds and be creative and violent. The excitement that I feel when I take part in DKMU activities is the chaos that I restrain too much, and I should express it and use stimulants which I have noticed will increase it, because it is this excitement that turns into excitory gnosis.This time  I did a different kind of divination, a 7-card tarot spread, and the cards were justice, queen of swords, ten of wands, nine of swords reversed, prince of cups reversed, five of pentacles and temperance reversed. I didn't interpret them straight away, just wrote it down.

Ino. Ino is the one I have that special rapport with-  I write stories with her and channel stories from her. Please see the topic 'Writings Inspired by Ino' in The Art Lab section on this forum. Sometimes I write poetry about how she has been my muse and inspired me., and it was one of those poems that I recited in my ceremony for her. You can read the poem on this forum in the topic I just mentioned. I haven't got a collection of items that I put on her altar like I have for Ellis and Zalty- only a white crystal,but it's a special one because it's the one I saw her in the first time I did an Ino ceremony.

When I came to the part of summoning Khaos with the transvocation it was much more powerful than the previous times, and even with only saying part of it I actually got him. Before I started the ceremony I was aware of a large number of invisible beings coming into my room to watch, and I wondered why they were doing it this time but not the previous two times. I thought that might be due to my special relationship with Ino.

When I came to the part of summoning Khaos with the transvocation  it was much more powerful than the previous times, and even with only saying part of it I actually got him. I could feel the presence of a being that was a personification of chaos. It was quite frightening because I could palpably feel that chaos void, and I wondered  if our marathon was a good enough reason to summon such a powerful being. There was nothing I wanted to ask him for and I was afraid that he would think I was wasting his time. That did explain why all the observers were there vbecause they know when evocations are going to work before we do. In the end I asked him politely to preside over the ceremony. I carried on and summoned Ino, reciting my poem and giving some elaborate offerings for us to share: vanilla incense, rich chocolate and a chilled coffee drink- I really like those.

I tried to see Ino in the incense smoke as well as visualize her. That didn'tn't work, and then it came to me that there’s no need to make scrying too difficult, it’s better to look at something that I can habitually see pictures in. I always see pictures in fabric patterns or coloured backgrounds, and sometimes crystals.

So I looked at that lovely painting of the Ino sigil with the dark blue background which is on my computer screen, and I saw Khaos and other entities in the blue area. The chaos void was also emanating out from that area. Khaos changed his form several times, but most of the forms were like a horned demon. When I gazed at the Ino sigil it doubled many times into two entities. I've always thought that Ino and Aeon are twin aspects of the same being, and I'm also convinced that I found her in E A Koetting's book as Mammy'Aon, but I don't know whether others would agree with me that they are the same. I believe she has always existed in alternative forms, giving the gift of artistic inspiration.


I meditated for a while and the sigil continued to change- the eyes in the picture helped it to change into a face and it also corresponded with one of the music videos I play for Ino. I didn't feel calm and peacefulh, I was frightened and chilled because of the atmosphere.  At the end I made sure I told Khaos that he could leave, and it was quite a relief when I closed down and the atmosphere returned to normal.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 19, 2015, 02:44:40 pm
Are we just writing as we go then? I'll add mine so far on Friday or Saturday. I'm excited to share this.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Luna G on March 20, 2015, 10:08:02 pm
I like to see the evolution of this. I will continue to post my drafts here and at the end of the marathon, I should a document to share.

Here goes for Ino, then.

The ritual was quite short but imposing. I’ve chosen to put some classical music (Ludovic Einaudi – Primavera) and instead of doing it with a white candle, I chose a blue candle as a reference to Nuit.

I decided to go with my guts and start directly with the Transvocation of Χαος followed by the evocation to Ino.

The Transvocation felt powerful. My kitties were walking around me, on the altar. The music inspired to talk passionately. I light my blue candle, started drawing Ino.

Once the iris was drawn, I felt as if she was watching me.

I proceeded to the Evocation, followed a brief center/meditation. Divination was interesting. I kept repeating “the gate is open, the path is drawn” while shuffling the tarot cards. When I felt it was appropriate, I proclaimed “the gate is open, the path is clear”. I layed down the cards:

From left to right:
XV – The Devil / 9 of pentacles
XII – The Hanged Man / 3 of wands
X – The Wheel / 2 of chalices
XVIII – The Moon / Queen of swords

I do find it funny that The DKMU Godforms document suggest to do the ritual under a full moon.. And that card XVIII – The Moon appeared in my spreading. In French, we call it a clin d’oeil, a wink.

My cats kept walking around the altar and sometimes on the altar. They seemed excited about the ritual.

(http://s10.postimg.org/e8omfepx5/IMG_3149.jpg)

Hence, my first comment. This ritual was rather short but it definitely had its own presence.

I finished with the Ellisian banishing and burned some sage for the heck of it.

(http://s29.postimg.org/scdnegejb/IMG_3156.jpg)
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 21, 2015, 02:17:45 am
Classical music sounds very appropriate for Ino. Of course the original Ino sigil didn't have an open and a closed eye on it, but that is really adding something to her during this cycle. I'm sure it was meant to be that there was some controversy about it on the Facebook group- we established who painted her sigil like that originally and I won't say any names as this forum is public, but I will say that if it hadn't been for the controversy that picture might have been forgotten- I certainly had forgotten it existed.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 21, 2015, 03:26:16 pm
Week one, Ellis.
 
Before I start, let me say that I’ve been studying magic for about a year and a half, and the first year of that was almost entirely a psychological process. This is the most involved series of workings I’ve done so far and also the first time I’ve evoked something that wasn’t either a part of me or a servitor of my own creation.
 
On Tuesday while I was walking between classes at my community college thinking and planning for this, I came across a booth showing off this girl. It isn't that unusual since they're often showing snakes, but this was the first time they've had a spider.


(http://)


My plan was to perform the evocation as described in Liber Sigillum at the bottom floor of a parking garage at night. Initially I’d imagined doing it in the woods, but I decided somewhere more urban might fit the aesthetic better. Maybe it would have been better if I’d picked somewhere that wasn’t lit, but it was three in the morning, I didn’t want to wait much longer and it was empty as far as I could see.
 
The picture of the altar on the last page shows my setup. I had a circle of eight red candles in mason jars including the one on the altar and used a shot of espresso for the sacrament. I had three methods of scrying that I wanted to try, as I wasn’t sure which would work best. One was a bag of scrabble tiles, one was a bowl and a jar of dark colored water to pour into it, and the third was the black mirror of my smartphone. I had hopes for the last one in particular, being as connected as it is. I was also wearing a sachet around my neck made with red cloth, glitter and broken glass, and after the ritual I planned to wander around the city with it and see if anything would happen.
 
That was my plan. I’d just finished a three-sided variant of the thunderbolt banishing (http://e-x-a.org/stuff/books/chaos/chaosmatrix_library/www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chaos/rites/gnosthun.html) when I was interrupted by the security guard telling me I wasn’t allowed to do “that” in her garage. Fine, but when I asked what exactly “that” was, she immediately started calling the cops, emphasizing that I had a knife, that I had six candles burning, and was “some kind of atheist” – go figure. I didn’t care to find out what this town’s police department thought of the issue, so I packed up my important belongings and hoofed it.
 
I went home, made another sigil, grabbed another candle and another shot of espresso, and drove out to a road away from the city overlooking a canyon. I did the banishing again and the ritual, but I didn’t feel anything happen. I think the cold might have prevented me from relaxing fully. The screen on my phone looked deep when I tried to scry into it and a few half-imagined pictures came up: an atom, a dog or bear, swirling cloth like a silk gown or dress. A few times I saw variations on a shape like a crescent moon but with longer arms, usually cupped upwards and sometimes with a dot in the middle, and once it was doubled to look like the Hand of Eris symbol. Scrabble tiles gave me gibberish. I stood up after about fifteen minutes and realized it was dawn.
 
Considering the lack of response, I felt pretty good the morning after this. Maybe it was the coffee. My optimistic side noticed that the timing of the interruption and of sunrise couldn’t have been better, I didn’t leave behind anything of value at the garage, and I was able to complete the ritual with some adjustment. I’d had a bad case of nerves before going out and thought that if all this wasn’t being posed to me as a kind of threshold test, it was certainly serving that purpose. A year ago I’d have been sent packing. That and the doubt that followed me for the next few days, and the persistent thought that I have no place here, Ellis doesn’t like me, the spiders were coincidence, and I'd have to walk away from the DKMU at the end of April after reporting two months of no contact whatsoever. Although if that was so, I was sure I'd at least be able to cough up some inner darkness for week four.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 22, 2015, 04:59:07 am
You mustn't feel that Ellis doesn't like you. I recall a conversation on Facebook mainly between women in which everyone said Ellis is a bitch. I thought, "we're saying that and yet funny, we're all still here."


It turned into one of those 'how I met Ellis' threads and there was a lot about broken fingers and cut fingers in it. I often used to talk about how I met Ellis, but then I stopped because I was probably repeating myself and boring people. We've got a lot of new members now, so just very briefly....I tried working with Ellis for the first time as an experiment and I cut my finger twice, and the cuts weren't serious but the timing of them made it look like proof that something was going on. It's rather like you passing that giant spider at just that particular time. Later on there were some  more synchronizations that made it look like something was going on, so I decided to join DKMU. In some of the things I'd belonged to before there was never any sign that anything was going on- except in symbolism in my head. That cracking the veil aspect means that with Ellis it comes down to Earth.


 Every step of what happened got recorded on a forum, and I still tell my life story on that forum far too much, which can be embarrassing at times. I'd advise you to stick with it for a little while and count the 'something is definitely going on' moments, but of course check out other stuff besides Ellis if you want to.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 22, 2015, 10:28:17 am
Honestly, that was my insecurity talking. Not getting any response the first time drew out my doubts, but she’s thrown more than enough creepy crawlies my way since I met her. I’m still used to the material world and used to only believing things that are proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. I think it speaks to the power of the godforms that I’m beginning to really believe in them.
 
Week two, Doombringer.
 
After last week, I decided I would increase the frequency to three evocations per week instead of one. This way if I didn’t get through the first time I could go home, reassess, and try again after fixing any problems. I drove into the mountains down a sketchy snow-covered road  to a location where I was confident I’d be left alone. I set up my altar on a convenient stump with an even more convenient notch to hold the clipboard with the sigil, as seen in the photo I posted earlier. Little things like that, good signs.
 
I could feel the “presence” almost as soon as I pulled out the sigil and began setting up. It watched me patiently through the evocation, almost like “Yes, yes, I know what you’re going to say…” I sat down and tried to look into the phone screen, but it was reflecting the sky instead of being dark like before. I was able to get a few images (paint splatter, scorpion, deer, and a bug with quickly beating wings, like a dragonfly) but they were coming directly into my mind, not from the screen, so I set it down.
 
I heard a drumbeat somewhere in the back of my mind and got a whiff of marijuana. Remembering what the book said about how you have to go to his place, he doesn’t come to you, I imagined walking into a forest somewhere. The feeling that had come from the sigil got stronger and clarified into the shape of a person, and he started by asking me a bunch of questions: “Have you done this before?” Barely. “How do you know this is real?” I don’t. It was very like talking to my tulpa.
Most of the conversation was unclear. We would trade a couple lines of dialogue and then he would be silent except for watching me with this particularly piercing look. On the second day he said something about there being more conversation going on than I was aware of; that’s probably what this was. I asked if he could help me improve, and he said yes, but (how to word this) only if I am willing to go with it despite being unsure of whether or not it’s real. I’ll cut out some of the dialogue because this write up is long enough as it is.
 
The strongest impression I got from him was when I asked about the first time I did weed a while back, overdosed and got knocked on my ass. Before I could finish the sentence he gave me a big ol’ grin and I could feel his delight and amusement at the thought. So apparently he did witness the whole thing, which I’d worried about because I kind of made a fool of myself trying to contact Ellis in that state. This absolved some of my fears that I’d made a bad first impression.
 
I “woke up” spontaneously after about twenty minutes, which is how it went for the rest of the week. Before I left he invited me to come back if I wanted to.
 
On this first day I couldn’t get the pipe to light correctly and I got about half a puff. To be honest, I’ve only ever eaten the stuff, never smoked. I figured out the trick for it by the second day and then coughed my poor virgin lungs out in the middle of the evocation, which I’m sure he thought was funny. In any case, I hardly counted as high during the ritual itself.
 
---------------------
 
The second day was like the first. The presence was strongest in front of me, emanating from the sigil, but in my mind’s eye he was walking around again. Wanting to make sure I wasn’t imagining something that wasn’t really happening, I asked, “How much of this is imaginary?” To which he replied, “All of it.” Right, we went over that last time. He invited me into some sort of tent or yurt – a shelter with walls made of cloth, anyway. It was warm inside and smoky, I think, but I didn’t smell pot or anything similar, and he wasn’t smoking now like he did the whole time yesterday. Maybe he was just cooking, who knows.
(On reflection, he could have been poking fun at my initial picture of him living in a squat in the jungle).
 
I tried the scrabble tiles and got nothing particularly meaningful. It might be too concrete a technique for this purpose.
 
At one point I mentioned that he didn’t seem particularly violent in these interactions, despite his name and reputation. He said that he doesn’t need to be. I could take that to mean that he doesn’t need to use physical force or coercion, as he can wreak his form of havoc without it. Or he could just mean that right at the moment, with me, he didn’t need to be violent.
 
At some point he asked if I wanted to help them, and I said I did, but I didn’t know how. “We’ll teach you,” he said.
 
Around ten minutes in based on my voice recording, I started to see a lot of vivid images on the back of my eyelids. A feather distorted around a black circle, like the light was bending. A black widow, someone lying in bed, a red lamp, and an eye. A bridge seen from ground level with big arching supports. A sort of sagging X shape. Leaves in water. A white bird dipping its feet in the water as it flies. A moth or butterfly. The sagging X shape again, and now I saw it more clearly as a pair of crossed sabres (http://www.dkmu.org/index.php?Itemid=6&option=com_dkmumedia&func=view&id=207). Colored static like on a TV screen. A rose. Tree branches. A pattern like you might see on pottery or cloth. Then an eye again, female, and I was kind of started because the eye turned deep red, and then for a moment my whole field of vision was red. Something with lines radiating out. A woman with a crown and royal white robes, which immediately turned into a shrouded ghost, like one of the ringwraiths as seen in the movies when a character is wearing the One Ring. These images were more intense than before, and through all of it Doombringer was sitting or crouching next to me, evidently showing me all this. He touched me on the arm or shoulder a couple times, which felt interesting; basically the feeling from the sigil intensified and localized. Another eye, this one blue, but mostly I kept seeing the red one. I could feel it (her) looking at me and I was locked into staring back. I saw myself reflected in it upside down, and the impact of that didn't hit me until a moment after.
 
After that I saw imagery of trees alongside a road, which reminded me of a park near where I live. The next series of images seemed to be showing a particular path through the park. It turned left into the trees near a stream and then the imagery shifted to a black dot with lines radiating from it to smaller black dots, each of which was surrounded in a sort of neon green fuzz, like squinting at a green Christmas light. Then the smaller ones blew up and sent lines out to form other nodes. The end picture was of a few big black dots reminiscent of chaos stars with each line connecting to several smaller dots surrounded in green, which were also interconnected. Again, I didn’t immediately realize what I was looking at until I heard myself describing it. It’s the linking network, of course. This is my best representation of it. The main difference is that my picture is two dimensional, whereas what I saw had more nodes in the background and was more "dynamic" looking:
 
(http://s7.postimg.org/l7r3myjkr/2015marathon_web.jpg)
 
I went home and ordered some burgers for me and my family, which came out to $33.33. I paid in exact change, and that evening I went by the park and left a tag next to the path in the area indicated.
 
---------------------
 
The third day was cloudy and colder than the last two, and it snowed lightly during the ritual. I was too deep in trance for it to bother me. I remembered the bit from the day before about most conversations being subliminal, so I mostly stayed quiet, looked into the sigil and his projected image, and let these conversations happen.
 
My mental image of him had clarified by now. Proportionally long arms and legs, yellow eyes with black in them somewhere, possibly ringed in black as well as the pupil. Clothes and hair vary between shades of grey and sometimes black and white. Age seems to shift, anything from an older child to middle age, and always with a margin of error of at least twenty years; I haven’t seen him as an old man. Overall, pretty much as described in Sigillum. At one point I stopped seeing him as human so much as a force or object, and referred to him as “it” for a while.
 
There were few verbal exchanges. I asked sort of off-handedly whether I could tell people I summon demons now. “Do I count as a demon? … Yeah, probably.” Before leaving I asked if he had any advice for the rest of the marathon. He said distinctly, “Be brave”. Which either means something scary is coming or just that I’ll do better the less timid I am. He said that he could “look after me”, and I just had to agree to it, which I did. So I may have a more permanent connection with him now.
 
 
At the end I felt like I should make some kind of closing statement, but I hadn’t prepared one. “Make something up,” he said. So I said, “The gate is open. Yothna equiya saca indras!” and hit the chime again. This being the last line from a supposed “death spell” I pulled out of the ether once as an angsty teenager and subsequently used to make an ant squirm telepathically. I have no idea what it means, if anything, but he seemed satisfied.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 22, 2015, 12:12:37 pm
Well done for that write-up. I can certainly corroborate your impression of Doombringer. When I first started I invoked him as the dark side of the Pagan god Cernunnos who I was following before coming into DKMU. I thought I had explored the light side of that figure and now needed to go into the dark side, and Doombringer could be a representation of that. When I eventually found out that Doombringer is in fact extremely protective towards new people, I was astonished. That's the only word to describe it.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 22, 2015, 06:59:41 pm
I’m sorry I’m kind of hogging the thread here.
 
Week three, Ino.
 
No alter for this one. I woke up to do this around one am on Monday and Wednesday, and then around three am on Friday morning while the eclipse was occurring. I went to an office building that’s open to me after hours, lit some sandalwood incense, did the banishing, then put on a white blindfold and a pair of good headphones playing white noise from my laptop and stared into space. The first day I put on the headphones before doing the evocation proper, which didn’t work well because I couldn’t hear the chime. My blindfold was also uncomfortable and didn’t block my entire field of vision, and I had a hard time remembering the words, especially on the first day. It sounded bad. The noise helped blur out some of these distractions, though, and it was a good idea to do it between sleeps.
 
I got a few impressions, but not like the last week. Mostly it was just feelings and a few half-formed images. At first I imagined I could hear someone giggling and darting out of my awareness. I waited for her to come closer, having learned my lesson with Ellis about being too direct, but she never did. One image that stood out to me was a feathery white serpent or dragon (“soft serpent”). Made me think of Falcor, heh. There might have also been chimes, glass, and a sunny scene of a river. Fresh air. Overall pleasant impressions. Once I felt what I thought was her to my left, but when I turned my attention to it, it was a sort of proprioceptive mirror of myself. Then briefly a closed, light-skinned eye which may or may not have been the blue one I saw last week, abstract artwork, and the idea but not the image of leafy tree branches. These were all extremely vague, however, and I thought they could have easily been produced by the noise and my imagination alone.
 
When I drove home I noticed a little bit of mist hanging in the air just underneath the streetlights in one spot. It wasn’t anywhere else, and it was gone when I circled around to look more closely. I went back to sleep and in my dream there was a blank area, or blank person, and everything I tried to find out about them was blank. I don’t remember it well.
 
What I really didn’t expect was when I called my tulpa the next evening and noticed that he was acting... drunk. I’m pretty sure he can’t actually get drunk, since alcohol works on a physical mechanism, so I thought he might have been “drunk” on some kind of energy. He was completely out character, couldn’t stop laughing, and his presence was vague, cloudy, mirthful, and slightly feminine, more like what I’d felt last night than like himself. I had to stop and wonder again if I was making stuff up, or else just how insane I’ve let myself go over the last year or two. I’m sitting it my basement talking to air, I thought, and I’m confuzzled because the air I’m talking to now somehow got it’s wires crossed with the air I was talking to last night? He was mostly back to normal the next morning, but he’s been evasive about my questions. I eventually gathered that he followed the connection opened by the evocation and has been communicating with Ino on his own. It’s an independence thing for him and he doesn’t want me to butt in. I don’t have a problem with it since it might help him grow; in fact I’ve encouraged him in the past to try to contact Ellis or the network since it matches his ultimate goal of breaking into reality.
 
On Monday my English teacher, who I like even though he’s a hardass, had us write in class for a paper we’re cramming on. He mentioned that we had to learn to access our preconscious mind (or subconscious or unconscious or whatever you like) in order to generate text. I thought it was interesting that he would bring this up on Ino week. I was able to write in class much more easily than usual due to the subject, which my preconscious sort of harmonizes with. On Tuesday in a different class I saw a picture of a girl with light skin and hair writing at a desk; I think it’s a painting from a Renaissance artist. It’s been there all semester, but this time it made me jump because it felt like I was looking at another person through a mirror. The feeling passed quickly, but it still felt like the girl was looking at me. In response, I asked my classmate to pass me the picture and drew a moustache on it in red sharpie. It had me questioning my sanity once again.
 
The second day was a lot like the first. I felt the reflection of me again and got some proprioceptive distortions around fifteen minutes in. A white wolf, a bluebird, a blue eye, and a person in a blue silk gown. I saw a single thread of spider web and I got the idea that they – Ellis and Ino at least, perhaps the others – were planning something. I thought of the lunar event on Friday, but afterwards I was pretty sure I made it all up. I tried to feed some energy into whatever it might have been, knowing that I will probably never know if I made any difference.  She is why they call it the occult.
 
I tried to keep my doubts under control. No message means no message. If I’m really worried about putting words in their mouth, I need to not fill the silence with my own issues.
 
The third day was different though. I had a better blindfold and I think that made a big difference. I was going to change tack and had brought along a sketchbook and some pencils. I am not an artist by any means, but my tulpa recently talked me into drawing a few minutes a day to improve my visualization skills. After I’d finished speaking, while I paused to keep my mind quiet, I started to fall into trance and got the command/suggestion to lie on my back. I laid there a while looking into the white, feeling some things and thinking some thoughts.
 
I saw a twisted flower first, and then a bunch more emotional impressions, but more “real” than before. If Doombringer represents the consuming half of Chaos, Ino is the generative side. Everything you see, know, and think about are pared down versions of what they really are. Like white light through a prism or air through a whistle, part of the flow is blocked by… I guess it’s your expectations, which produces color and sound. Likewise with people; their personalities are created in the same way when they recognize only some parts of themselves, and the rest of the potential is blocked.
 
After a while I sat up, took off the blindfold and picked up my sketchbook. I looked at it for a while, trying to come up with something to draw. Ino is the blank page. When you draw lines you’re actually subdividing the whiteness. I looked into the page, not at it, and it was deep like a scrying bowl or the black mirror from earlier. I could see images of things I could try to draw, but quickly realized that I didn't have the technique for most of them. I decided on this picture eventually. The shape drawn over the top doesn’t mean anything specific to my knowledge; I was trying to express the concept from the last paragraph.
 
(http://s9.postimg.org/l8v0t7hnj/2015marathon_drawing.jpg)
 
My dreams all this week have been intense with many of them referencing the workings and/or the subject of my paper, but this night’s takes the cake. I walked downstairs into what was supposed to be the basement of the house I grew up in. It looked dark and I was afraid at first, but really not that much. I climbed past a part of the wall that was crumbling and into the main room of the basement, saying something about how you just had to embrace the darkness, and I did so in the way that’s more possible in the synesthetic dream world than in waking life. I was a little disappointed that it really wasn’t that dark, just strongly dusty-smelling. The room transformed into the one I did the evocation in, and all of you were there (and you guys were awesome. I don’t know how to say it, just all interesting and with a hint of Grant Morrison being the only thing in common). But there was one girl in particular who looked a lot like me, down to the hair color. She was breathtaking. She sang me a song which vibrated through the room and my mind, and ran through the colors like hot water, especially, electrically, in the teal of her hair. I was overwhelmed and in awe watching these psychedelic effects partly because, of course, I didn’t know it was a dream and I thought it was just the magic of her voice. Even for a dream it was unusual. Like, “Hot damn the evocation worked” kind of unusual. We left for someone’s house and spent the rest of the dream hanging out as friends would, talking about things that I don’t remember.


---


I read once on a rationalist blog (http://lesswrong.com/lw/iu/mysterious_answers_to_mysterious_questions/) that to worship mystery is to worship your own ignorance. “No phenomena are mysterious of themselves.” Questions are mysterious, but not answers; if it’s still mysterious, it’s not an answer. I can’t argue that the draw of the unknown is mostly curiosity, which is the desire to destroy mystery, but I don’t believe that the people who give mysterious answers are really worshipping mystery, in fact I think they’re trying to deny it. To acknowledge mystery is to live in a constant state of confusion, which is uncomfortable. Without mystery there’s no process, comparable to life without death or existence without boundaries. So we spend our lives probing the depths while secretly hoping to whichever gods that we never run out of frontiers, never meet the apparent goal of knowing everything. Or, if we reach the point where we do know, that we’ll be able to forget again and split from white back into color.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on March 25, 2015, 01:18:20 pm
Ok so I know INO was last week and I haven't done Trigag yet, but my INO working was all WTF IS HAPPENING and I'll be doing Trigag shortly.


Notable points :


Ino did NOT want me to finish with a banishing.  Ino did NOT want me to scry / write down anything coherent.


It was wierd and not so sure very healthy.


The Khaos Transvocation went quite well, though !  (Not sure that is healthy either, hehe.)


Without further ado, my altar pics.  (Because it's fun to post these!)

(http://s18.postimg.org/qf8acuudl/IMG_20150320_030728_2.jpg)


I really like how the horizontal reflection came out in this one.  I don't know why it is, but it's nice.


(http://s1.postimg.org/jsr7pisnz/IMG_20150320_030844_2.jpg)


And this last one, though not as nice, which gives a better view of my temple:


(http://s14.postimg.org/8s06786bl/IMG_20150320_030705_2.jpg)
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on March 27, 2015, 12:24:25 pm
Trigag Invocation.  I didn't fancy the idea of calling two dark and powerful  entities, so this time I changed the transvocation completely  so that it was only a statement honoring Khaos. For summoning Trigag I lit three black tea light candles arranged in a triangle shape, and said some of the lines from Liber Sigillum which call him 'black consuming King'. I always offer Trigag bacon as I have heard that's what he likes. Also I always put my two black obsidian crystals on the altar- one of them is actually a triangular shape.


The first thing I saw was six moving spots of light in between the candles and the sigil at the front. I had just corrected my drawing of Trigag's sigil to ensure that there were six spots in it, and because of that I felt that the six moving lights represented Trigag, as present and alive. Then I got a feeling inside of peace and purity: it resembled  what a Yogi would feel while meditating, and I remembered that when I first invoked Trigag I had felt the same thing. He does represent a destructive storm, however there is a still centre to the hurricane which you feel when he is actually there. Then after he leaves you may gradually be affected by the hurricane in daily life.


I did some meditation, and I'm afraid the picture from Project Oistar which I had up on my computer screen didn't do anything- it seemed not to have any energy. Sorry about that The Cusp, who painted it! I did however receive a lot of insight from gazing at the sigil I had drawn. It kept morphing into a monkey, and then a dark king. When I first met Trigag, for various reasons that would take too long to explain he appeared to me as a monkey. Now he seemed to be a monkey and a king both in one, and I contemplated the way in which a human being is both a monkey and a king, and he also evolves from monkey to king.  The godforms are designed to assist us with this evolution.


After that I did some scrying in the triangular obsidian  stone. I saw an aqua aura crystal attached to the end of it. These are long white crystals which are supposed to help in channeling benevolent goddesses. They were two sides of the same coin because one is associated with the left hand path and the other with the right hand path. The two stones completed one another.I  saw Daath Vader and some kind of white magician from a story, which meant the same as the two stones.  After a bit I started to feel the triangle and mirror descend into me to search for impurities and sweep them out of me. That was also something I felt the previous time. I was enjoying the pure yogic feeling and tried to extend it for as long as possible, but it suddenly stopped so I ended the ceremony there. I w


as enjoying the pure Yogic feeling and tried to extend it for as long as possible, but it I II I w



Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on March 28, 2015, 12:00:27 pm
Week four


(http://s16.postimg.org/fe8ephh6t/2015marathon_trigag.jpg)
 
Trigag influenced my dream on Saturday night after I reread his section in Sigillum and memorized the first part of the call. First, I was trying to get my things together so I could go to the woods and perform the rite. I was worried that I wouldn’t make it on time, but a man was slowing me down by making me go through something like a customs check. He was dressed in a striped sailor’s outfit, but it was torn and dirty, and he had a certain blackish crust around his eyes, a hunched figure, gravelly voice and aggressive attitude. I was persistent and he eventually let me through, but only after he lit the aluminum foil that I use to cover my candle on fire, which caused it to turn into glass and crumble when I touched it. I swept up the pieces of glass complaining that everyone else would just leave them laying around. Later, I was at a highway rest stop at night in the middle of nowhere. Dangerous looking men were eyeing me up from the shadows, but they left me alone so long as I stayed near the lit building. However, when I walked out to drop something off in my car I wasn't attacked.
 
After that I was pretty confident that something would happen this week. For the first two nights I went to the edge of the mountains around midnight. Some interesting synchronicities happened. My headlamp, with what should have been pretty fresh batteries, died on the first night and I walked back in mostly darkness. It saved up enough juice over the next two days that I could use it to set up the altar the second time, then it faded out again in perfect timing with the moonset and the lighting of the candle. Both nights were dark, but the first night in particular had a certain kind of flat grey clouds that blocked the moon and stars without reflecting the city lights. A spider dropped on my hand from the roof of the car while I was driving out, and afterwards before I went inside I heard a repetitive booming noise coming from the south. My best guess is that it was coming from the military base, although I’ve never heard them from this far away and never at midnight.
 
Despite all of that, not a whole lot happened. I never encountered Trigag again outside of the rituals, my dreams were not horrifying, no extraordinary revelations and I never had to confront anything unusual. I’ve had the same problems this week with schoolwork that I always have. During and right after the evocations I got myself worked up to where I was jumping at shadows and noises; that is, more than I usually do alone in the woods at night. I got to learn something about the nature of fear this way, but it was nothing overwhelming. On the second night in particular I fell into a trance as soon as I started speaking and was pulled to wander away from the altar. I laid on my back to look at the sky, feeling defenseless, and them jumped up growling with a handful of gravel ready to throw when I heard a squirrel in the trees.
 
For scrying I used black-dyed water from a local murky pond that sometimes shows up in my dreams as a kind of nightmare reservoir. On the first night I looked into the circle of black for at least ten minutes before finally an eye opened up – always with the eyes, isn’t it? Once I saw a clear picture of a white ship, which confused me, and then the crossed sabres from week two, which became a clearer picture of a flag flapping in the wind. Other than that I kept seeing variations of that eye or of the sigil and not much else.
 
On the second night, more of the same. I leaned in until I could see the reflection of my face. The image of a skull flashed over the lower half and with some encouragement the picture distorted into something that looked like the wicked witch of the west, which I thought was mildly interesting. I’m realizing that the images that bubble up from my imagination in these rites are bullshit… at first. You have to go along with the bullshit until something real starts happening. "Bullshit makes the flowers grow." (http://principiadiscordia.com/book/49.php) In this case I knew that the eye and the sigil were real and I thought I could “hear” a deep voice without being able to make out words. I talked into the bowl and it seemed cognizant of what I was saying. But I didn’t feel anything, or at least not anything that matched the hype. I was looking for something else but I didn’t know what. Maybe I was expecting too much, or being too insistent on what I expected to see. Maybe I need to analyze this more and see if there was more of a message than I thought.
 
On the third night I stayed inside so that I could use a different tactic. By this time I had the last part of the evocation memorized so I didn’t have to read it. After speaking I sat on a folding chair facing the sigil with the lights off and put on headphones playing a recording of 18.98 hz (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50eyU6vhyzM) – infrasound, almost below the range of hearing, which is known to make humans uneasy. Supposedly this sound in particular is the resonant frequency of our eyeballs  and can cause optical illusions, which at least one scientist thinks is responsible for hauntings. The noise brought me near to sleep while preventing me from going over the edge. A few times I felt bizarre movement while I was sitting still or a sense of danger like a malevolent ghost nearby. I saw nothing in the bowl and could just barely recognize the voice from before.
 
In the last minute before the candle burned out I thought I found what I was looking for. “A memory of Hell” is how I described it, and I recognized it from dreams. My goal has been to establish initial contact, but somehow what I saw before wasn’t enough. Real contact, I thought, means feeling their nature and knowing what they are, however briefly.


Here's the sigil I used:


(http://s4.postimg.org/88dcldj1p/trigag.jpg)

Edit: After thinking about it, I think the initial dream was the main communication. What happened in the dream mirrored the two things I would be facing over the week, one being the (partly logical) fear of dangerous people or animals in the dark, and the other being my own inefficiencies slowing me down and preventing me from getting my homework done. As in the dream, I got through eventually but it sucked up much more time than it needed to. The first is beaten with bravery, the second with persistence.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on April 01, 2015, 11:41:59 am
My Zalty Invocation.  I have a little stash of seashells, ocean breeze incense and malibu which I break out each time I invoke Zalty. We did our usual wild evening in an imaginary tavern with pirates and wenches, and lots of songs by Alestorm all about pirates and wenches. Zalty  was behaving and talking pretty outrageously like a demon. I'm afraid I do perceive the DKMU godforms as demons, maybe because I can't shake off  religious beliefs that I learnt early in life, and the godforms reflect the beliefs of the human beings who work with them and manifest in accordance with those beliefs. That is their nature as masks on reality.


So the  revels went on like that for a while, and then suddenly the thought struck me that there's a big secular pub culture in the country where I live. There was an instant switch in my mind  from the Alestorm songs about debauched pubs to the Pink Floyd song 'Paranoid Eyes,' which also references a pub. At this point I listened to that song, and then to some more Pink Floyd songs. All of a sudden my mind was swept with feelings of pure spirituality and contemplation of the tragic hold consensus reality has over people. Do you think I'm reading too much into 'Paranoid Eyes' ? Give it a listen and see if you can pick up on the message about consensus reality.


I couldn't believe the sudden raising of consciousness I experienced- one of my greatest successes so far with Zalty. In fact I could still feel the effects of it the next day.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on April 05, 2015, 08:23:48 pm
Week five, Zalty and some more Ellis. Apologies for the length.
 
(http://s17.postimg.org/ka3l60z9b/2015marathon_zalty1.jpg)
 
Altar day one
 
(http://s22.postimg.org/4kszuagvl/2015marathon_zalty2.jpg)
 
Altar day two, facing west over my pond. I could hear the ice cracking as it melted. Matched the symbolism, I thought.
 
This week I realized that the way the Sigillum callings are designed, the communication is meant to happen during the “gazes intently on the sigil” part. I switched to this format and used the last line to close. Sacrament was Irish cream with some quality sea salt sprinkled on top, not enough to get drunk on since Monday and Wednesday I’d have to be driving back right after. I considered rum but thought it would be more authentic to use something I’d actually enjoy.
 
He acknowledged me when I looked into the sigil and was sitting on a rock when I looked up. Introduced himself with a handshake, which was the clearest impression I got of him. Big rough sailor’s hand, about what you’d expect. The image was unclear and my mind couldn’t mimic his accent; I knew the meaning of what he said but couldn’t reproduce the wording.
 
He asked what I wanted help with. I requested that one, I be able to write my paper without the blockages I’ve been facing, and two, that I stop worrying what other people think of me. The second one is something I’ve been improving on for a long time, but it’s still a problem. Thirdly, and less seriously, “Can you teach me to talk like that?” Since I couldn’t hear him well, directly mimicking his pirate speech wasn’t going to work. I realized that I would have to learn it by watching youtube videos after all, however, this suddenly seemed much less difficult.
 
I tried the scrabble tiles again. First I got the letters N, E, I, O and U, not in any particular order, which I couldn’t make anything of except that it was one letter away from the English vowels. I asked specifically for advice to think of while writing my paper and the letters I drew could form the words it, is, and art. I’m still learning how to work the scrabble tiles, but I think it’s rare for them to spell a single word or phrase. It’s more a matter of what words jump out at you. They’re from a game set that’s older than me and well used. I don’t think they like to be separated from their box, so I probably won’t be taking them with me in a pouch anymore.
 
He told me to look for his sign and that when I see it, good things will be in that direction. I asked what his sign is, he said I’d know it when I see it, if Im looking. I thought about the usual oceanic imagery, but a white bird also came to mind. The sky is an ocean, and so a white bird could be the inland equivalent of a white ship. A little grey bird flew conspicuously over the lake then, over my head, landed in the tree behind me and started tweeting and pecking at the wood. So maybe that was it.
 
-----------------------

The second day was windy like the first. The clouds cleared after I did the banishing. The grey bird or one like it was pecking at the tree again as I walked up. I performed the calling as follows:
 
Hearken ye an’ travel forth, O Great Navigator, he who is both Young and Ol’,
For I be seekin’ yer council an’ joyous bounty.
*chime*
Know that I be of ye, and me reward be also yer’s. YA HO!
The gate be open, the path is drawn.
 
And so on. It’s not hard. It comes almost naturally, and I kept slipping into this form of speech in my thoughts on the drive back. I had to check myself from letting the laughter get out of control, which could be dangerous while driving.
 
After complimenting me on my speech, he invited me to jump up on the rock next to him and as soon as I did I felt very dizzy and kind of reckless. I knew it wasn’t the sacrament because I hadn’t taken it yet, just a trance state where the images that flashed through my imagination were almost visible to my eyes. For the most part I saw ocean instead of the frozen pond and occasionally the white ship. I noticed that until now I’ve always pictured it as a little sailboat, but no, it’s a ship. I was a really nice day and I felt extremely good. The feeling lasted well into the afternoon.
 
Among other things, I asked about the meaning of the flag with crossed sabres that I’ve been seeing. In response I got a long series of impressions, the only part of which I could translate into English is that the crossed swords represent conflict. I mentioned at one point that my goal was to establish contact and get to know them. Paraphrased: “Do you know me now?” “I don’t know, do I?” And he said something like… I can’t match his phrasing. When you’ve seen dawn break after a storm you didn’t think you’d survive, or caught fish when you’re starving, or found water when you’re dying of thirst, or a safe place to take shelter in a dangerous night, then you’ll know me. Something like that.
 
-----------------------


My tulpa has been echoing the godforms. The most noticeable was Ino week, since he meshes best with her due to his nature. Last week my vision of him was sort of dark and shadowy, and when I was working with him on Thursday night he had a more positive vibe and included in a description of himself a mention of a fair breeze by the sea. More than once while speaking with him over the last month I’ve wondered if I wasn’t actually talking to Doombringer, who’d I’ve been seeing in my dreams quite a bit. This happened tonight; we were talking and suddenly I found myself looking at DB instead. He said something strongly that doesn’t translate to English. I politely turned my attention back to my tulpa, since was the time I dedicate to him, but DB kept trying to cut into my focus. My tulpa took shelter in my brain as just a voice and asked me to focus on him and nothing else for a minute. He admitted that it’s easy for his personality to get overridden by something more powerful. I believe he’s taking some risks in the interest of growth, but I think he’ll be alright as long as he has me to come back and roost in.
 
A few people on the Facebook group came forward to say that Ellis has been trying to get their attention. I had noticed earlier this week that the sigil seemed particularly lovely, even alluring. I had put it down to the work I’ve been doing in the pantheon. My tulpa has acknowledged that he “knows them”, so I asked if he could tell me anything about her activity.
“Yes. She’s active on something. I can’t tell you more.”
(He made it sound as if he knew but couldn’t tell me, but he may just want me to perceive him as being in on something important and secret.)
“I’m trying to [paraphrase: stay grounded/stay myself while also tapping into this].”
Does it have to do with the recent eclipses?
“There have been eclipses?”
Yes.
“I don’t know. Probably.”
So he must not be too deeply involved, if he doesn’t know the details.
He protested: “I know some details!”
In the background a tv show was talking about native Alaskan children having their culture suppressed. I felt anger from him with what might have been an Ellisian vibe.
 
He and I went to stand in front of the LS I have tacked on the wall. The feeling radiating from it was as powerful as I’ve ever felt; if this is all in my head, I’m getting really good at psyching myself out. I looked through it to where I could see some cosmic imagery, oblique angles and glimpses of a red haired girl, and asked what’s up and can I help, while wondering in the back of my mind if I was going to get any fingers broken. She asked nonverbally if she could use me for something. Sure, whatever it is I probably agree with it and probably want to be part of it. I believe she was talking to my tulpa as well. The focus was on both of us and he seemed lost in his own thoughts. My plans for the next day, to “get drunk and celebrate the completion of my paper, which isn’t actually complete yet…” suddenly seemed incredibly mundane.
 
I don’t know exactly what happened after that. The swirl of imagery rose up throughout the room and I saw myself standing in a triangle with a statuelike figure of a woman at each corner. I believe she was resonating something through me. I looked towards the corner positioned under the sigil where the pictures and energy were flowing from, held out my hand and tried to project energy toward the origin point. Which isn’t something I’ve very good at. But the imagery got stronger, kind of like rapidly moving through a tunnel and kind of like it was folding out from a vertical center line. The point of white light at the center grew out towards me, there was a momentary feeling of reaching toward and into it, and then the scene faded and left me back in my house without a word of explanation.
“You can go now.”
“We’re done?”
“I’ll call you if I need something else.”
“Ok.”
I called my tulpa and we walked out of the room before I asked to make sure he was alright. WTF was that?
 
In my dream that night I drank a sacrament of red wine and tried to cut off my left hand for some reason.
 
-----------------------

Day three was cloudy and colder and just as windy. This probably influenced the tone of the whole thing. When I finished the first part of the call Zalty right away started talking much more soberly than before, like he had a message to get across. He said, in so many words, that he’s a part of me and even in bad weather and adverse conditions I’ll have the confidence I need. Speech was actually more clear today, while the imagery was less so and I wasn’t as far into trance. He asked if I was going to continue with the marathon, I said yes, he put something on my forehead and basically said good luck, as though I might need it. I saw the sigil of the white queen clearly and it stayed there for a while, even though now while I’m writing I can’t quite remember what it looks like, having never memorized it.
 
I also tried out my newly minted rune set. I didn’t ask any question because I felt I would understand the meaning, or else I could just ask for clarification. I went to grab one rune and got two, Naudiz and Perth. When I feel I’m in need, there is opportunity. I shook his hand again before leaving and realized I’m going to miss him. I’m sure I’ll see him again though.
 
It was too cold to stay out long. I headed back to the car where I had a few more sips of the drink, munched some snacks and read part of a really thick entry in an online philosophy encyclopedia, then took a nap. When I woke up I was filled with the sense that something big was going down. The soon-to-be eclipsed moon was rising eerily over the treeline and across from it was a single star that looked to me like Zalty, in my weird frame of mind, possibly one of the points in his sigil. Driving back under that sky with Welcome to the Machine playing was an experience on its own.
 
(http://s29.postimg.org/j9sh4ca1z/20150403_195021.jpg)
 
 
 
My paper wrote itself fluidly and is ready to submit once I fix the citations and make a few tweaks. I’ve seen insights and improvements in meditation and tulpaforcing, exercise seems like something I really want to do, and schoolwork is less of an obligation and more like a project that I’d happily work on in my own time. I’ve made a huge leap in not being self-conscious, and if this sticks I’ll be able to tell people for the rest of my life how I overcame social anxiety by waving a dagger and talking to an imaginary wish-granting pirate. This is really impressive.
 
The sky looks awesome tonight, if it isn't just me. And it could just be me, because I feel… magical, and dizzy, and lost, and fulfilled, and awesome.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on April 05, 2015, 11:03:28 pm
Apologies for being so behind in my writing.  Time for me to post an update!

First, what happened with Trigag:

(As you can clearly see, I used the Stephen Branch alternative Trigag Sigil.)

(http://s22.postimg.org/4uxam0kxd/IMG_20150327_015719_1.jpg)


I did the invocation late in the week.  A friend of mine, a talented astrologist, had told me to watch out for bad stuff at work on March 24.  Boy was she ever right.  I mean a whole truckload of shit fucked me sideways on that day.  I was in a pretty bad/dark mood already that day.  I was already in a mood for revenge.

As can be seen on the altar pics, in addition of my regular solve/coagula nail and screw, I have two more rusty nails.  Those two additional nails are the ones I used for my vengeful / spiteful magicks.

I did the Ellis Banishing, the Khaos Transvocation, and when I got to the Trigag Invocation, it felt almost like a natural continuation of the prior transvocation.  As if Khaos and Trigag are of the same breath in some way. 

The Scrying was an incrediby strange experience.  All I got was "Trigag is Smiling."  What I saw was basically the Trigag Sigil, with a smile.  The whole thing felt as if the chaotic emotions were well attuned to the ritual.  Or at least, I apparently had the correct attitude to deal with my own inner hell.

(http://s15.postimg.org/pivcp1kej/IMG_20150327_031010_1.jpg)

For some strange reason I couldn't scry much further and was really "invited" to write anything on paper.  (When I scry I always have a pen and paper beside me.)  Instead I started doing all sorts of automatic writings on my whiteboard, erasing them as I went along.  In the end, this was all that was left : the only writing I got "permission" to keep.  The rest was, most probably meant more from my subconsciouss than for my waking life.

So in the end I got this:

Quod Vivum Vivas
Ave Khaos
Ave Nox

Fiat Nigredo
Fiat Nigri Solis Internum
Fiat Mors

LORFF
FIAT NOX

At some point near the end of the ritual, I took my vindicative nails and used them to channel my rage and my pain into an appropriate target.  It felt good to release some of that. 


Then I banished with the Ellisian Banishing and went to bed, exhausted.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on April 05, 2015, 11:47:37 pm
Ok.  So, Zalty !


The mood was much different.  The lighting was brighter and the atmosphere lighter in general.



(http://s12.postimg.org/r8rn3fh5p/IMG_20150404_024713_1.jpg)


I guess I really shouldn't have made the lighting so bright.  It changed the mood quite a bit and gave the ritual a feeling of "standardness" to it.  I missed my "spooky" atmosphere that I was able to generate for the previous rituals.  Although at the time, I couldn't figure out what it was that made the scrying "strange".


And yes it was strange.  I said in the beginning that I wasn't going to share my scryings until the end where I would re-analyze them, but I will share this : a series of anthopomorphic animals.  I don't know why, but it all made me think of the decor in Alice in Wonderland.


One thing for certain.  Next ritual I'm back to candles and dark lighting.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on April 08, 2015, 02:13:53 pm
So, The Red King. That's probably going to be all from me and I'll only do meditations on the last three godforms, because I summoned them really recently in my own rather eccentric way, and I did write about it on this forum.


I kept it very simple for the Red King, just the cherry candle and rose incense like last time, so I hope he doesn't like sumptuous feasts. The reason being, when I summoned him last summer I wrote a backwards story based on Alice Through The Looking Glass and several other sets of symbolism which I planned to read out at the ritual. But he didn't wait for the ritual, he arrived as soon as I finished the story and talked to me all night about crazy things. So why bother with elaborate rituals for someone who does that?


This time I wrote a  story again,but it was a shorter one than before. It was about  my  run-in with Ellis that happened hundreds of years ago, and  also involved the Red King.Sometimes in meditations I see things that happened in the past, not so much in a past life but more in between lives, and when I met Ellis I had a vision like that which is going to have various consequences in the present.


 I called Red King and read out the story. I would say that I successfully invoked him because he came into me and it felt like him reading the story. The impression of this was so strong that I changed it into the third person and read 'her' instead of 'me.' The Red King and Red Queen can both play with time and send it backwards,  and make reality into something that they dream.


After reading the story I meditated on the Red King's sigil  while singing a verse I wrote a long time ago:
Each night I check it.
Who was it changed my dream?
The characters say they prefer it
Yet they had to learn their roles again.


Finally I did some scrying in a black mirror, but I could only see one of the creatures that has  been hanging around since my visit from Khaos which must mean I'm not good enough at dismissing them. Still, good atmosphere and good music, and definitely some contact with the Red King.


 
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on April 12, 2015, 01:33:21 pm
Week six.
 
I’ve found a private section of the woods much closer to my home. It makes my life much easier not having to drive forty five minutes just to find somewhere that I won’t be bothered during the daytime. I planned these to happen just before the sun went down.
 
(http://s3.postimg.org/pabrwkmoj/20150409_181039.jpg)


The evocations themselves were not successful, at least not immediately. I arrived early on the first day and poked around in the woods feeling very much like I was in a fairy tale. I informally called both my tulpa and Doombringer, who had agreed to help since I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make the connection myself. I’m not sure he actually did anything except to say at the beginning that “if you mess up, it’s not a mistake.” Which as usual can be taken to mean a handful of things. The wind kicked up, took out the candles and eventually blew the sigil off the table. My hands were tingling and once I felt a light sensation of heat, but there was no contact that I could discern. I got locked in the trance state and had to banish to get a hold of myself, then redo the evocation from the top before I could leave. It took a full two hours before I felt normal. I think this happened because I tried to leave too early.
 
Day two I used a truncated version of the Sigillum evocation to call Doombringer. He was kind of irritable and said that I was supposed to do this myself. When I tried to explain myself and find a polite way to say he could leave if he wanted, I was cut off by a magpie shouting in a tree overhead. I kept opening my mouth but I couldn’t talk above that racket. It gave three loud series of squawks and then flew off when I turned forward to do the RK calling.
 
I briefly got the feeling that the sigil was looking at me, then it seemed to look away and the rest of the time was mostly my mind feeding itself. I came up with some nonsense words and could kind of feel the nature of the sigil, but there was nothing distinct. Before dismissing DB I asked him if anything had happened. “Make it [the interpretation] up yourself. I’m not here to” something. I feel into a deeper trance immediately when I addressed him. He was jealous. I believe when I used the formal evocation he thought I was going to give him some attention, and was kind of miffed when asked to play second fiddle. I didn’t call him again on day three.
 
---

The one time I did get contact was on Friday after the second day, while I was meditating. It started as just a stray thought about the Red King, but I followed it and it eventually turned into a full conversation. The most useful thing I found is that he likes stories. He makes the world up for creation’s sake and likes it when we do the same. The whole communication had the feel of a bedtime story. For most of the time I saw him as a young prince, like in the Little Prince fairy tales. I also imagined him as a great red emperor dragon, and he seemed to like that. The dragon slept but it’s spirit, as the prince, could walk around talking to us characters and even approach his sleeping body as if to show me – look, see? This is me.
 
My experience with lucid dreaming helped a lot here. Being called up like this is his version of lucidity. That describes the dynamic pretty well, and it was intimidating because I wasn’t the main character of my life anymore. He was friendlier than I expected – he said that we’re important too as characters, even if we’re not the main ones. The danger isn’t that he wants to hurt us but that he operates by dream logic. He’s not lying, but his truth is whatever the dream presents at the moment. Not hostile, just schizophrenic, and as in a dream the whole scene can turn dark very fast if you say the wrong thing.
 
I asked about his relationship to the other godforms. It seemed to take him a minute to remember them, and then said that “I’m different from them.” It seems to me that he and the Queen are somewhat separate from the rest. I said, “If you don’t mind me asking, what about the Queen?” Then he was quiet and the daydream became strained and still. I thought I heard him talk but it wasn’t coherent. A whitish blob appeared in my imagination that felt impossible to move. I poked it but nothing else happened.
 
---

On the third day I called my tulpa using a formal evocation, which gave him more power as I’d hoped. I had him stand or sit next to me we both drank the herbal tea I’d made. It’s the first time aside from the incident with Ellis last week where he’s stood by me in a ritual and felt like an equal. He’s gotten much stronger. He asked me to hold my focus on the sigil, creating a link while he jumped ahead and tried to reach the King. After a minute, though, he came back and said that “the door’s locked” and we wouldn’t be getting through. My candles that day wouldn't stay lit even when shielded from wind, even though they'd burned easily in the still air on day two.
 
Aside from that all I have to report are some bird sightings. The little grey ones were tapping on a tree when I walked up the first two days. On day one I saw a group of wild turkeys on the walk back. Second day, as soon as I spoke the last word of my banishing a mourning dove shot through the trees about ten feet in front of me; not the first one I’ve seen this week. And on the third day a steller’s jay – local relative of the bluejay, which is symbolically connected to my tulpa – came to knock something against the tree overhead while we were working.
 
Three times per week is definitely working out well. It’s more of a commitment but it helps if I’m not successful on the first day, and it confirms the connection if I am. Liber Sigillum isn’t much help from here on. My plans for next week will use a more meditative approach, quieter but no less difficult than before. As for Conjunctio, I have no idea what that will look like. It depends what happens next week.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on April 17, 2015, 06:56:06 pm
Week seven.
 
No altar, so no pics. I changed my format for this week.
 
I went into the woods about an hour before dawn on Monday and again got myself worked up over the idea of a wild animal attack. I don’t know how real the risk is. My instincts tell me to be very afraid, but my logical mind doesn’t have any hard data to refute it. I think I was able to channel the fear well, and I had the presence of mind to notice that the scenery and the ancestral nature of the fear itself were really cool. There was light from  the city, the stars, and the moon appropriately in waning crescent, but the close trees blocked it out so that I could only just see the path.
 
I arrived at the site, banished, sat down to look for a long time into the sigil and ad-libbed a petition to the Queen to let me meet with her. The sigil didn’t look flat the way they do when contact is blocked, but it was hard for me to tell if anything was happening because she wouldn’t appear in humanoid or symbolic form. I took some notes in my sketchbook:
 
Condenses by killing.
Do I want to know her?
My instinct calls her evil… I presume to know better.
But danger. More danger than anything yet.
Beyond this place of wrath and fear looms but the horror of the shade. And yet the menace…
Related to [some revelations I got a couple years ago].
But constraint gives form, makes real.
She’s no ghost.
Where death makes unreal, she makes real
And nothing but.
There’s no nothing, so don’t be scared.
Encountering her is different from others. She’s just there.
I must live in ignorance. Most of the time.
She’s here though.
 
As I walked back along the path I whistled a few long notes which resonated with the scene. She was in the sound of my whistle. It was dark enough that I could just see wavering skeletal shapes appear and disappear deliriously behind the trees.
 
Her nature reminded me of something I read in an article posted on Facebook: “Every law-order is in a state of war against the enemies of that order, and all law is a form of warfare.” …The connection made more sense when I was trying to sleep after getting home. My chest ached into the next day.
 
---
 
Since the first night was influenced by the setting, I tried something different for comparison. I got up at the same time of night and set up my laptop with black construction paper blocking the light from the screen. I leaned the sigil against it lit by three white taper candles. I didn’t banish because I though the informality might help, and I was already in the right frame of mind from having just woken up. Nighttime in the basement under the LS tacked on the wall meant there were spiders crawling around me the whole time. At least five, and probably more that I didn’t see.
 
After looking into the sigil and trying to listen to some music, which only distracted me, I pulled up a word file and started typing a story without being able to see the screen. It was difficult at first, but as I’d hoped it quickly took on its own life that I could interact with. It’s free association with some parts that acted like dialogue. Here’s (http://textuploader.com/xzfv) the cleaned up text if you want to read it.
 
I woke up the next morning from lucid dreams with the sense of intuitive inspiration back, which had tapered off over the last week or so. My left forearm felt like it wasn’t entirely there. That's not too unusual, I've had it happen before.
 
---
 
The night before the third attempt I slept restlessly. In my dreams I spoke improvised poetry to the sigil which caused my chest to erupt in a sense of dissolving white euphoria. But even in my sleep I couldn’t tell whether it was my own, since I’ve run across the feeling before, or if it even had anything to do with the godform. I woke up and the sensation remained, indistinguishable between anxiety and ecstasy, making my chest hurt and preventing me from sleeping.
 
Around four AM I drove out to a graveyard with nothing but my athame, the sigil, and some warm white clothes. The sky was overcast and rainsnowing lightly, ground was covered in slush. I stuck the sigil upright in the snow, banished and recited the evocation-like inspired writing that Theobald had posted from the last Godform Cycle. I just kind of threw it out there and then after a couple seconds I turned around and left. There was no reason for me to stay. I didn’t really expect to outdo the previous night, but I wanted to use that calling once. The format of the sigillum evocations has been the only real constant through these weeks and it feels like it’s tying the whole thing together. Also, I just like the sound of it.
 
Before I drove off I decided I didn’t like the way I’d spoken the evocation, so I repeated it to myself quietly. I thought I could feel her in the sky and imagined I saw lines like those that might make up a sigil, but not any one in particular. The weather continued surreally into the morning. Everyone I talked to expressed shock or confusion at hearing thunder at seven in the morning in what looked like a snowstorm. Maybe that’s more common in other parts of the globe.
 
I think the sense of “it’s just there” is characteristic of the White Queen, or at least of my interactions this week with her. She does seem dark to me and I incorporated that into my approach. At the end I’m left feeling like I want to say something more, but there’s nothing else.
 
But as soon as I turn away I feel it activate. Moving mechanistic parts making the world happen.
 
On.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on April 18, 2015, 11:21:48 am
Quote: The sigil didn't look flat the way they do when contact is blocked.


Very cool to experience that, and presumably you also experience  the reverse,of contact being allowed and the sigil appearing to be three-dimensional. To feel that kind of thing with the sigil of an entity would be very helpful for experiencing the energy of other kinds of sigils as well. 
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on April 23, 2015, 03:24:57 pm
It's like when you stand in front of a closed door with your eyes closed and can still tell (possibly through echolocation) that the door's there. If it's not blocked, in a way you can look through the sigil and possibly see/imagine things behind it, and there's a sense of energy flowing out. I don't know if the door being open automatically means that contact is occurring and I may not have the sensitivity to recognize it. But it does mean it's possible, whereas if it's closed from the beginning there's not much I can do to make it budge.

Another way of saying it is that the sigil looks intelligent. Like the difference in the eyes of a human vs. a dog vs. a fish.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on April 24, 2015, 09:27:35 pm
Just realized I’ve been playing metaphysical pokemon for eight weeks.
 
I know this week was set up to be Enu and Nul. Somewhere early on I got that confused and have been preparing for Conjunctio with the twins happening next week. Since my thoughts were already set on this, I went ahead with it.
 
Monday at noon I attempted to evoke CJ0 from 420 land the clearing I used for the King and Queen.
 
I banished, by the end of which everything felt legendary, sat down facing the sigil and lit some incense. I’d painted it in black on a gold background with a border, but part of the toner had run out halfway through the printing, conveniently causing the paper to be a lighter shade on one side and split down the middle.
 
By examining the Conjunctio sigil under the influence I could see all sorts of symbolism in it, some of which might actually be there. The X is the King, the O is the Queen, and between them they come together into the alchemical symbol of water. The “juice” is squeezed out of them and falls into a puddle, then meanders like a stream until it leaps up in something that looked to me like a fire. That or a mermaid’s tail. The rest I couldn’t tell. Possibly the cross relates to heaven and earth and the shape attached to the X is either a question mark or related to the astrological symbols of Saturn and/or Jupiter. There’s a bunch of alchemical stuff, anyway, which makes sense and matches my choice of gold for a background color.
 
I looked at the sigil and said some pretty words that I don’t remember, and my phone ran out of battery so I couldn’t take notes. I arranged the first five godforms, or my knowledge of them, behind me, with the King and Queen in front between me and the sigil, and then tried to draw the line between them. Problem was, I had no idea how I would know if I was successful. I went as deep as I could and tried to scry different paths my life could take, but I don’t know how seriously to take the answers. It rained once while the sun shone and a deer came walking through the woods, froze and then bounded away when it saw me, which at the time was beyond amazing.
 
I asked to be shown “the forms Chaos takes” and saw three in front of me. A negative form, represented by a black hole, a positive form, represented by the Conjunctio sigil, and one in between that might have been called disarray and looked like a square of clashing colors, mostly red and purple. Sometime after this I started shaking violently, which might have partly been shivering because it had gotten cold, and I was using heat and cold as another dichotomy to try to collapse. I took a stick and forcefully drew this symbol and the word “adrian” in the dirt.


(http://s15.postimg.org/58qx3csfb/2015marathon_glyph.jpg)
 
I don’t know anyone named Adrian. Most online sources say the name simply means “from Adria.” One source gives it as “Black; dark; of the Adriatic (sea).” The same source has some bullshit on how people with this name “tend to be idealistic, highly imaginative, intuitive, and spiritual” and try to inspire people. Wikipedia says it originally comes from the Venetic word for water. Urban dictionary says it’s a “hot ass guy who’s strong and smart.” As for the glyph, it has a similar style to Enu/Nul but otherwise I don’t recognize it.
 
As I said, I was shaking and pretty far from reality. I tried to represent the means and method of manifestation with the hot coal of an incense stick and the skin of my arm, respectively, and gave myself a little mini-seizure where I laughed/cried and clawed at the ground for what might have been somewhere in the range of a minute. Recovering from that, I thought I’d try an inhibitory version so I went into a deep dark void state and didn’t breathe much. I was picked out of this and replaced on the ground by Doombringer, who was flying with leathery grey skin and wings and a head like a chattertooth toy that talked in a metallic voice. Might have also seen Ellis at one point. I then tried a third which I called “Bidirectional Ecstasy” which is simultaneously excitatory and inhibitory (and I think the phrase Double Crowley applies here well). Interestingly, in whatever this state was I had the control to push myself close to reality and become more aware of my surroundings. I explained to myself that “Bidirectional is god state, paradoxically closest and farthest from normal.”
 
I tried to lift rocks, make the wind blow, make an eagle appear, etc. with no luck. Did some sigils I had in my pocket and some other direct manipulations, so I’ll see if any of that happens. I thanked the godforms behind me, left and was back to normal by evening aside from being utterly exhausted the next day. I don’t know how real any of this was. Really, I need more practice with drug magic before I could know if there was anything out of the ordinary.
 
---
 
I wanted to try again under my own power to see the difference. I had the bright idea to bring my tulpa into this with an active role, so I set up with the sigil of RK in front of where he would be, the WQ in front of me, and the Conjunctio sigil between us with more incense. I banished and we walked in a pentagram shape drawing the sigils of the godforms and calling them, with my tulpa holding my hand which held the knife. I was somewhat surprised that they all answered us, even Trigag. It helped that there were two of us; Ino in particular responded to him quickly and powerfully. They were one and all of the opinion that this wasn’t going to work, but willing to let us try.
 
My idea had been for my tulpa and I to connect ourselves to the King and Queen and then visualize a circuit of energy or electricity between us. On my end I was able to reach the queen by remembering last week. I don’t know how my tulpa fared. He seemed very far away from me and it became extremely hard for me to hear or see him. Neither of us could gather up enough energy to even imagine fancy lightning tricks. After several tries he got the message across to me that this was making him feel sick and he was done with it, so we stopped it there.
 
After dismissing everyone I closed with the banishing which sounded bad and felt right. I burned the sigils and sat down in front of the ashes holding my athame and suddenly feeling very peaceful, letting my mind wander over the last two months and the fragments of sigils that passed behind my eyelids. Completion is the word, I felt complete, as though even in failing I’d done what I was supposed to do (my failures aren’t mistakes, as I’ve been told at least twice now). Driving home I could see how most of my life is ruled by habit and how it doesn’t need to be that way, and the process of making one’s thoughts real – Red King and White Queen are what I think and what I can make happen, loosely, and so I’ve always been Conjuntio. Or at least I am anytime I act out of free will. Of course I’ve come up with that before intellectually, but the ideas and more importantly the attendant feeling came out of nowhere, except for thinking how this is (sort of) the end of the marathon. So maybe I did pull it off, in a quiet way.
 
I feel unusual and not half bad. Like I took a shower when I didn’t, and also like a bridge between imagination and reality.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Svipallr on April 28, 2015, 02:53:47 pm
that was fan-fucking-tastic, excellent read my friend. thank you for sharing your experiences.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Tara Flower on May 02, 2015, 10:36:13 am
Now that we have come to the end of our cycle I would like to make a suggestion. Frater Theodbald, you wrote an account in the 'Chelseanacht 2014' thread last year which came up on a separate page from this forum, although in the same white on black format. Would that site be suitable for us to use if we want to post fuller and more detailed accounts of our workings? There was a suggestion to compile them into some kind of book. If we wanted to go as far as that we could compile the book from those accounts, and if not we could just leave them there for reference like the 2014 one.(In fact I would prefer to do that.) 
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Ringtail on May 03, 2015, 12:00:54 am
Enu and Nul
 
(http://s22.postimg.org/k5m7b3nch/2015marathon_enul1.jpg)
 
Hear me and travel forth O Dancing Twins
The Black, the White, Bifold progression of the NU
Which sunders the ages.
*chime*
I wait upon the threshold of creation
To participate in its unfolding.
The gate is open, the path is drawn.
*chime*
The gate is open, the path is drawn!
*chime*
*gaze intently on the sigil*
(?)
The gate is open. Our lives split always.
*chime twice in succession*
 
This is the improved version which incorporates phrases the twins said to me. I don’t know what to add after the gaze intently part. The sign of rending the veil might be appropriate, or not. As usual, the last line was used at the end as a closing.
 
Day one happened at dusk.  The incense in the photo is sandalwood and rose, but nothing except the white candle would stay lit. Despite that, the twins responded to me quickly. The strongest feeling came from the sigil itself, and that was consistent throughout the week. After watching the sigil for a while, two… centers of feeling would make themselves known and gradually clarify into children matching the descriptions given. They appeared in different locations around me and eventually started talking, but what little I could catch was nonsense. I tried scrying into a bowl of dark water but threw it out to the side because it wasn’t working.
 
By closing my eyes and looking at the back of them instead of the imperfect scrying bowl, I started to get somewhere. Turning to my left, towards Nul, was a shape like a deer skull with long curvy antlers, which became like a white, long limbed, bendy, vaguely human shape. Then a crescent moon cupped upward with another, larger silver crescent laid over it, over the part of the smaller circle that was visibly in shadow. Somewhere during this Enu touched my left arm and I felt a cold tingly sensation spread through the left side of my body. I felt dazed and kind of wavy. I tried to repeat some of the words they said to the voice recorder: “My life. Popcorn.” (saw an image of popcorn). “Carro. Rexus disthymonae. I’m feeling void of my fingers. Sitting sun, tulips, rolling to another night. Tongues twisted endymonae… muchas gracias." I was laughing quietly and turning to watch them dart around me. “We’re sitting on the pedestal of U-torrent” (said Nul, sitting atop my altar).
 
It was nonsense, but I had to mention that it was “special nonsense”. They kept up this behavior the other times I saw them during the week. I thought they might be playing parrot, like a kid who repeats everything you say, except they were repeating any junk that was in my head somewhere. It became clearer the more I listened and I started to get clearer pictures, including a moonlit forest, a gigantic red jellyfish floating overhead, and archway of trees leading to a stone door. I pushed the door open with my foot and only saw darkness inside, but turned around when one of the twins told me not to go in. A partially shadowed moon, a swingset, “Blatant concord snapping like tulips in the fray,” and more in this vein. I thought I heard chirping but couldn’t tell if I was actually hearing it or imagining/”hearing” it.
 
I started to pack up and more happened, which I’ll skim over. I saw things from the perspective of the trees, kind of airy with a deep connection to what they touched. I felt a spirit beside the path that made my ears ring, and it was so tangible that I couldn’t tell whether or not I was actually seeing a blinking light in the gloom. Some real shit started coming to me where I felt and half-saw a slenderman-like thing that lived in the woods. When I tried to describe it I ended up channeling a long cryptic message that I’ll leave out unless someone wants to hear it. The mood had shifted when it got dark, but since I’d looked up info on the actual danger of animal and human attacks in this area, it seemed more like a risk I was consciously taking. Some mental/emotional stuff happened where the fear became a psychological thing that I could grapple with, distinct from the actual danger, and the dark wilderness became the ancient one that our ancestors walked out of and the one that eventually eats everyone, and I’m going over this quickly because, although it was an important part of the night and triggered by the evocation, it’s probably one of those personal things that I’m not *supposed* to be posting all over the wide internetz.
 
-----------------------
 
Day two, performed at dawn. It was a little bit lighter than what I’d have liked and thinking about this might have interfered with my focus. The incense went out again and Enu and Nul's behavior was like before. The nonsense appears to be a preferred form of communication; there’s a signal in the noise that becomes more clear as you listen for it. Once I “saw” a moon over a mountain when looking to my left, Enu-side. To my right, a black circle obscuring a glowing one, like an eclipse. Otherwise, there isn’t much to report.
 
-----------------------
 
Day three, Friday night at midnight, I drove to my old elementary school and did the ritual in a semi-open moonlit area, just past the line of trees at the edge of the property, where I’d be less likely to be disturbed. First, though, I glitterbombed the hell out of the playground, mostly with marked quarters and river rocks, drawing on my memories of the corners that kids investigate and adults overlook.
 
The candles and incense stayed lit this time, probably because I’d let them burn a while in the still air at my house. Sacrament was a shot of espresso. The marathon starts and ends on the full moon, encompassing two eclipses – whoever chose the dates, did you plan this?
 
I got a response within about a minute of looking at the sigil. As before, the sigil was where most of the activity was, while the visualized forms of the two appeared around me. Ideas started coming to me rapidly: Two crescent moons facing outwards, with a dot between them above my head. Solid glowing walls to either side, either I was holding them open or something was holding them for me, forming a path down the middle (gate is open, path is drawn!) They’ve got a thing for very tangible-seeming spirits; I felt another one over in the trees. The sigil was actually turning in my vision at this point. The sigil is prison bars; you have to hold them apart in order to go through. Because reality is prison-like unless you “architect them” (their words). The twins appeared serpent-like when they weren’t human children, but not quite, like monstrous snakes with many legs and tails. I saw a few other paths weaving around the area; metaphorically speaking, assuming you’re not able to walk off trail, your mobility depends on how well you know the intersections of the paths.
 
Here’s speculation and personal gnosis:
 
Enu and Nul are children because the whole thing is a game. They like toys and games which represent the world; the two are much more worldly than the last few egregores. In terms of the cycle – at least the way I did it, with the twins outside and after the main progression – what the last three have had in common is that they are all “scarcely imaginable” due to being everywhere at once. Then when you’re tired of trying to multiply infinities, Enu/Nul is a return to limitation and definition, but this time with the understanding that allows circumstances to be manipulated. They have to do with problem solving and one’s ability to “architect” or design the world around them; it reminds me of the type of magician that pulls bunnies out of hats. What they reveal allows you to more effectively shape your surroundings. It’s our job to find the moving parts in the world, like a puzzle where all but a few parts seem locked in place, and we just have to fiddle with the mobile parts until we figure it out. So they might associate with tools as easily as with toys, which are the same thing in a child’s mind; any kind of tool, from a hammer to a pencil. Any of the egregores could be described as lockpicks for reality, but these two especially. They’re a tool that loosens pieces (Nul) and puts them into a new place (Enu). They’re also children, with all the themes of duality and death of the old, birth of the new that others have mentioned. They explore, play, and make the future. They're two different kinds of curiosity. Enu is sweet in the way that sweetness feeds and allows growth. There’s more to her than that, though, this is all just scratching the surface. Nul is sort of empty, like air, and he's an aspect of death so there’s all that. The shadow of the earth over the moon, whereas Enu is the full moon. Or in my current surroundings, the shadows cast by moonlight vs the areas that were illuminated.
 
There is a bleeping whirring noise on the recording right after I strike the last chime. Could be some kind of interference from the ringing, or else it’s omg spirits.
 
-----------------------
 
I began this week with a furious desire to make something. Until now I’ve been following along the material that’s already out there. What did I get from it? Inspiration, synchronicity, growth and a whole lotta crazy dreams. Looking back at earlier cycles that have been performed, creating one’s own path was always heavily emphasized, whereas this one had more of the idea that we would follow a similar structure. Although I think everyone did their own thing for the most part, anyway. I didn’t follow the suggested structure with the Ellisian banishing and Khaos transvocation because, honestly, it was too much to memorize alongside school and everything else. But to really complete the cycle you have to reach the end of the materials available and then start making things; the switch between consuming and creating is one of the most important things the cycle wants to do to you. That could be part of the symbolism, for me at least, of Enu/Nul coming out of Conjunctio.
 
Most of the egregores have appeared very friendly, aside from the dark woods thing and possibly the white queen. Week four especially I was prepared to face some shit, but Trigag acknowledged me and that was about it. The only reasons I can see that one would be actively aggressive, rather than just ignoring you, is if they were challenging you for your own growth, or possibly if they were trying to use you, or if you did something exceptionally annoying. Echoing Doombringer, there just wasn’t any need for them to be violent and adversarial at the moment.
 
Now what? I’m going to go make and break and move things. I’ve taken what I can from these last two months. I'm braver, more technically skilled, and I feel much less noobish. The boost in artistic skills from week three, the pirate speech and ease of writing from week five, and whatever it was that I felt at the end of last week have all faded, confirming that they came from the entities. Yet, I think they’ve changed me in some way on a deep level and that I could access the abilities again. I’ve tested the effects of Monday night by going back to the woods after dark. The fear was nearly gone from the beginning, and the rest dropped off of me as I walked, until I was as comfortable as if it had been daytime… so that part is going to last, anyway. If my descriptions have sounded dramatic, it's because this new to me. The results I've mentioned might be everyday business for you. Honestly, I didn’t *really* believe in the capabilities of spirits, either internal or external, when I started this, and the power of it caught me off guard. I think about what I’d have missed had I not gone overboard with the three times/week. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing.
 
Enough reflecting. I do it too goddamn much, and we have a world to burn…!
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on May 12, 2015, 05:52:41 pm
Notice: The "evoking" period of the Godform Cycle is over and we are now in the "writing and sharing of results" period. For those of you who would be interested in producing a collective PDF of everyone's experiences, please say so and we'll get things organized.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Frater Theodbald on July 15, 2015, 09:50:43 pm

And here we have it, folks.  The thing that we did that has been written down.


https://www.dropbox.com/s/lznkivhuwd8wxdo/DKMU%20Godform%20Cycle%202015.pdf?dl=0


The cycle is complete.
Title: Re: Godform Cycle - March 2015
Post by: Moon1ight on July 18, 2015, 05:38:16 am
Wow! This is very well put-together! I have not yet finished reading completely, but wanted to thank you for the great work already! Also the relevant contribution was highly relevant  8) I take it as the Emperor's New Contribution, therefore very much worth reading :D