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Topics - Roni Jean

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The Art Lab / Once I drew a Sigil...
« on: June 27, 2017, 01:45:39 am »
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The Assault on Reality / Chelseanacht 2016
« on: June 27, 2017, 01:06:02 am »
For Chelseanacht 2016 I decided to work ahead of the rituals folks were planning with a working to boost those rites. The day before Chelseanacht I went to the Tall ships Festival during it's stop in Bay City, Michigan. There I proceeded to tag the ships and grounds of the festival (as well as a rather unique Mad Max-ish vehicle on our way out). I utilized four symbols for those tags: LS, the 2016 Chelseanacht sigil, the sigil for a new entity on the web, and my own. I was able to board the Spanish Galleon, theDraken Harald Hårfagre (a viking ship), and a couple of others. I also set up an Ellisian generator on the grounds of the festival. As this all went into place the influx of energy was directed into the workings which would follow the next day, linked through intent, the web, and the Chelsea sigil for the year.


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The Art Lab / The Wind is Screaming
« on: June 26, 2017, 10:41:10 pm »
The wind is screaming today.
Telling tales of decay.
The wind is screaming,
Straight from our dreaming.

Howls herald loops of time,
Bringing visions out of line.
Shrieks of moments last,
Shipped in from a different past.

On the brink of Integration
Is this threat of subjugation.
Born of the self...almost.
What is you, and what do you host?

The wind is screaming high and low,
Keep a clear mind in tow.
Don't believe it all - you have a choice.
Even lies can come in your own voice.

Know yourself to know the lie.
Know what's wrong to know what's right.
Break time to let the truth unwind.
Break fear to see the pathways clear.

The Assault on Reality / DKMU Pennsylvania Meet-Up 2016
« on: June 26, 2017, 09:46:39 pm »
Alright Folks here is my written account of the Pennsylvania DKMU Meet:
Friday 10-21-16
The Pennsylvania meetup was at a Koa campground. Five of us showed: myself (Roni Jean), Alysyrose, Vincent, Jay Oni, and Ailura Ringtail - with one additional individual (Jay's brother). Vincent and Alysy got a cabin since it was raining pretty regularly. The cabin was down the last road around the lake in a mildly secluded section of the campground (especially with the few sites prior to the cabin empty).
Near where the road curved round to head toward the cabins there was a space under development, with equipment sitting in it, and a mound of dirt central, it overlooked a drop-off, and was devoid of trees. It made a nice space, nearby but out of the way, and open to the sky. I took the opportunity to create a soft spot to assist in locating the site of our activities remotely for folks who were interested (namely miss Philly Abe), to allow easier access out for our efforts, and access in for anything that decided to assist. I essentially created a small nexus with open ports, and verified it's placement through Philly successfully finding it.
A short while after, when we were congregated in the cabin, I noted some activity at the nexus - it seemed some things had found their way through. The next activity I noticed was during some generalized conversation about how to focus the ritual - the Godforms had begun circling in. We would need to incorporate all of them since they were present and interested. This seemed like a good sign that we were in the right place at the right time (along with some of my own touchpoints of very familiar seeming moments).
Saturday 10-22-16
Ailura, Vincent, Alysy, and I spent some time in the cabin while the others ran out for a bit Saturday morning. We took the time to talk some more about what we wanted to focus on with the ritual. We wanted to encourage more meet-ups like this, and Ailura suggested that we try to take out the obstacles that keep people from coming. This sort of clarified what we were after. I started to build my tool kit for the ritual, including the preparation of slips of note card with roughly mirrored LS sigils. These were set to facilitate bringing us together, drawn up with the left end of the S from two LS sigils meeting one another. I set these aside to place further intent upon later. I also got five spiraled bone beads and three spherical carnelian around. I charged the carnelian as anchoring points to hold things "here," I charged the bone beads to filter threads, primarily ones related to gatherings and the obstacles that occur.
Additional items collected included: a twig from an important tree at my home (which traveled to caldera fest and back with me in the spring); three hornet carcasses from my window sill (in a bag with shards of citrine, for which I bled to remove from their cluster at eh end of last winter - in order to take them to retreat with the druids); a leaf from the autumn olive bushes that abound on my property (a plant which is anti-bacterial, anti-viral, and anti-microbial, but is often ignored because it is invasive and prolific - I used it for all of these properties, but geared toward maintaining the health of people's intent to work together); a chunk of a branch from the back woods of my property (the back 2/3 of my land is a set up as a sanctuary for things in need from other places, the back section of woods is the heart of where the wilder, or scarier, things congregate).
Final Preparations
Once we were all gathered at the cabin again, Vincent suggested we go to the aquarium in Pittsburgh, and on our way we went. We took two cars, and got there in two groups. I was with Jay and his brother, and we wandered through a bit more of the zoo portion of the park on the way in than I think the other three did. I found the Halloween decorations terribly appropriate, especially early on where we walked under a large bridge they had covered with webbing and giant spiders. Overall, it was good but kind of heartbreaking to see the animals, a very keen reminder of what this world has a tendency to do. Vincent was spot on with his post " We just got to the animal penitentiary, we're making our way to the fish prison." In retrospect, it likely aided in helping me focus appropriately on what to try to counter during our ritual.
It is worth noting that I use sound for magickal purposes on a regular basis: to communicate, to hold space, and often to alter it in some way. I tend to soften the boundaries of the world and bring it closer to the in-betweens. Primarily this is because the mundane hurts when it gets too thick, so I shift the space around me to be a bit more conducive to my existence. I employed this throughout our visit, starting by humming to most of the animals we stopped at. The elephants reacted the most noticeably in my opinion, but apparently it drew attention otherwise - to the extent that Jay commented later about the responsiveness of the animals.
As we went along I decided some tagging was in order(as per usual, I was carrying note cards and markers for just such things). I started with some general tags leading up to the aquarium. Once we got into the aquarium I found myself far more focused, and my intention became increasingly specific. I was pleasantly surprised to find a lovely acoustic nature to the space. I specifically continued the humming to increase the potency of the tagging I was doing, and I intentionally filtered the tags to beneficial ends which also seemed appropriate to the water environments presented and their inhabitants. I placed four tags like this within the aquarium, and one outside the building along the path back into the zoo proper. The tags were the LS on one side (of course) and the filter on the other.
They were as follows:
-Facilitate Flow
-Illuminate Options
-Erode Obstacles
-Inspire Solutions
-Resist Entropy
I finished the trip with a couple more generalized tags, the LS and my own, on leaves and such.

Next we went to eat before heading back to the campground. I got out the slips of note card I had prepared at the cabin earlier to start filtering their intention. Turns out I had six prepared with the mirrored sigils. Five of them mirrored the five tags from the aquarium, by writing the above intentions again on the back of these new sigils. The sixth carried them all. I had another slip that I had been drawing on since my arrival the night before, that was its own free form capturing of the event in a mixed sigil format. Having prepared these, and with our meals consumed, we headed back. We put together the rest of the ritual back at the cabin.
Once there we settled in to hang out, have some drinks, and finalize the rest of the ritual plan. On the eighth slip of note card Ailura and I decided to draw a brick wall. I wanted to add a component of breaking through to this world from Elsewhere, of bringing in a bit of ourselves from outside this paradigm, of crossing the barrier/piercing the veil, etc. The idea was to pierce the card, and drop the hornets and citrine shards into the fire through the hole in the brick wall. This was going to happen via a porcupine quill I had stuck in my hair.
The hornets were significant in a couple of ways. Not only are they winged things and thus magickal in my mind, I have also developed a number of minute servitor-like creatures that I implement for various tasks, and some of those are bees/hornets. The original form are silver mechanical spiders with a glowing purple facet on their backs. At one point I needed an aerial form, and from that need they morphed into silver flying hornet-like creatures. Having put the tiny corpses in with the blood exposed citrine stones from earlier in the year definitely swayed them toward the servitor version for this working. So these little creatures (which lived here, are now dead, had been infused with blood magick and essence from here, and were now attuned to - in similar form, even - to servitors that work mostly Elsewhere) were the perfect choice to have cross the barrier between worlds.
As a group we gathered herbs and such to put in the fire, Jay and Ailura brought a number of things that we utilized for that. These things purified, amplified, and connected our work to the world. I used the bits from my property in this way as well. Meanwhile, Alyse offered an amethyst cluster for us to use, so I had it hold and emit a steady mix of our collective intent, and amplify the overall process. As everything was gathered, Jay started the fire and got it going well enough to have a bed of coals to pull from for incense. Our intention was to work the ritual upon ourselves, to facilitate within our own lives, and to send it Out as far as it would reach to do the same on large scale among those who utilize the LS web.
The guys gathered around the fire, adding to the ritual as they saw fit, while Ailura and I worked our magick. Alysy chanted, courting the Godforms and opening the fire to their presence. Jay supported the structure we were building and encouraged amplification of it's reach.
The incense, herbs, leaf, and tobacco went onto the coals and fire to soften the space and set the stage. Ailura had prepped the small black plastic spiders she'd brought by infusing the LS resonance - marking the lot of them with the sigil written in the air above them as she did so. She put them in a bowl, covering them with red glitter. We added the slips of card with our sigils and intent to the bowl where they were shaken with the rest and set to be disbursed. We took the eight beads I had prepped (five spiraling bone and three carnelian)and buried them out in eight directions, like spokes, from the fire. This was the base of our structure. Eight spokes, for eight godforms, a khaos star, for the base to our web upon which the spiders would weave connections. Connections to clear obstacles from our way, as well as create an easement of sorts for facilitating future gatherings and cooperative workings. This would be the work of the spiders, and thus they were liberally spread across the spokes radiating out around the fire. Spiders and red glitter and sigils would remain in the space long after the ritual, to be found as they may.
Ailura had brought a chime, which she rang with the pen I'd used to draw the sigils, as she spoke to the DKMU Godforms. We circled the fire, Ailura calling to each of the Godforms, and I acted as a conduit for their entry into the ritual. I facilitated by allowing each of them to flow through me into the space we had created. The process was interesting, and rather visceral. I was pleased that several of them seemed to set themselves up as sentries at the anchor points (the buried carnelian), and I felt the structure respond by digging into this plane a bit more heartily. The other Godforms seemed to move freely through the fire and the structure. This set things moving more distinctly, triggering the brightly glittering spiders into spinning the web of intent upon the structural spokes we'd set in place.
As we moved back to the fire and I made offerings of a number of the other burnable items (twig, branch, etc). I ran connections out from our forming web, priming the way for the expansion of the structure to occur. Here I set some of my tiny spidery servitors to work as well, interconnecting layers and reinforcing the weaving. All the while keeping a steady flow of intent infusing the ritual space and thus everything occurring therein. At this point I burned the cards I had, Ailura reminding me that many were disbursed among the spokes and spiders, and was left with just our representation of the veil, the brick wall card. Having lost the porcupine quill from my hair, I pulled out the the knife I was carrying and used that instead. Amid weaving facilitation and swirling Godforms, I used my knife to carve a hole in the veil. Holding it above the flames, I pulled out the tiny bag of citrine and hornets. In the dark and Khaos I managed to hold onto one of each, and successfully passed the hornet (an incarnation of melded planes) and one of the citrine stones (carrying ties to my own links as a Threadworker and Planeswalker) through the veil and into the fire to be consumed and infused into the working as a whole, throwing the brick wall into the flames after to temporally seal the occurrence. Our set goals accomplished, we sat round the fire, enjoying drinks and good company. Ailura and I sharing my bourbon with the fire in thanks.
This was our ritual, to change and facilitate within our own lives, reflected and amplified out as our gift to you, DKMU.
Eroding obstacles/thinning and breaking through the veil/breaking down the roadblocks to our own manifestation into manageable fragments.
Facilitating flow/letting Elsewhere flow through/letting our goals present fluidly throughout the many aspects of our lives to properly gain and maintain momentum.
Inspire solutions/working the magick that the moment demands/working in real time with confidence in our own abilities and instincts.
Illuminate options/brightly woven connections show us the myriad potentials which are ever present/brightly shining moments are indicative of the solutions we seek.
Resist entropy/we are stronger when we work together/we are more resilient than we seem.

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General Occultism / A Rooster and an Impromptu Ritual
« on: June 26, 2017, 09:06:22 pm »
I have a tendency to do a lot of impromptu magick. Watching consistently for opportunities, I follow my intuition regularly. I also tend to pursue the next project as soon as one ends, and often kick myself in the ass in the name of progress. Here is one such account:
Wednesday June 22, 2016
Scar was a rooster I did not want, and he was everything a rooster ever is, in the most irritating ways. That afternoon was the day he took his last charge at a human. He had brought to the home through particular circumstances by people no longer in my life, and his life was ended by someone who is now exiting my life as well, ending a complex chapter of my existence. I had her leave him hanging from the archway, having decided that I would use parts of him for magickal purposes and dispose of the rest. We did not trust the meat since he had been sparring with a raccoon recently. I planned to remove parts for later use, and then dispose of the rest of him.
Until I suddenly got the strong urge to do an impromptu ritual.
I washed my hands, brushed my teeth, and cleaned the dishes from dinner as a cleansing and meditative process. Then I started gathering things.
I gathered many things to get rid of, to release as offering.
I gathered items of circumstance to show offering of what I willingly do and participate in to further my path, and thus what I bring to the table as my offering of capabilities.
I gathered many things to use as components of weaving the reality to come.
I chose tools from times throughout my life. Things to carry through into the next.
I invited ethereal allies, cohorts, & friends to gather round the fire pit. I set my things on two folding chairs behind the big log we keep next to the main fire pit. I put the entire jar of incense gifted to me from a hermetic magi friend in the center of the pit. Then built a fire over it. I lit it with a lottery bet slip.
I used oil made by my mother's cousin and her priestess for blessing magickal items. It was a gift at my handfasting. With it I drew on several items that went into the fire in offering. I used the blood of the house (purple nail polish that I bought specifically to paint a bit of exposed drywall in my home - my house bleeds purple, of course) to draw the runes for myself, Ellis, and Legbah on the sugar skull napkins.
I wove, letting free the past to be able to have hands, mind, and time free to create the future. I opened a portal in fire. I fed these things and more into it.
I gave an offering of bourbon (that of a love who is parting ways since the ritual, to incorporate her; my own bourbon was used later in thanks and comradery), and tobacco to Legbah.
I gave offering of a flower from my grandmother's funeral, and grass from the beach during last summers trip to Florida to my higher/highest self.
I gave offering of a snakeskin found last year by my back door - with symbols of me, Ellis, Legbah, ADF, & a cross - to Ellis.
I also burned a friend's Ellis candle (that he made, and gifted me while visiting this year), and one of the carved briquettes he gave to me as well. This was for incorporating both friends and magickal family from afar.

I felt the impact in the gathered as I walked out to get Scar's head, and again (though more curious) later when I went to get the rest of him. I burned scar's head at the top of that peak of burning wood. After, as I circled the fire inside the pit, I felt a binding around my neck and throat removed.
I gave herbs from Convocation a couple of years ago (intended to heal digestive issues) to help make our processing of the times to come as healthy as possible. To help us grow.
I then gave the rest of the flowers from my grandmother's funeral to the fire, burning the things of times past that needed to be let go. Habits, ideas, plans that fell into disuse, plans that could have been beautiful but were never meant to be, wounds old and new, pain of every sort, understandings that were incomplete or limited. Into the inferno they went.
Next, I stood and I wove.
I severed useless threads.
I connected myself to existence, and existence to itself, in new ways.

I sat on the big log for a few moments of rest, facing the chairs full of ritual bits while things settled. I blew bubbles filled with intent to various places both during the ritual segments, and during the couple of breaks I took. For most of the ritual I stood in the fire pit, walking the circle of it between segments of activity.
I used the knife my ex made, but abandoned on my chicken coop last year when he moved, to cut scar apart. I effectively cleansed it of him by doing so.
I cut his wings from his body with that knife and one boot on his body, tossing them in the ash by the fire. I started to take the feet and realized I had to finish with the wings first. I burned each rope to break any bindings upon me. Then I held up his beautiful, broken wings, demanded that I get mine in return, and then stuffed them into the bed of coals below the teepee of burning wood.
I took his feet, and one of the spurs drew blood from my knuckle. I had thought when I started that I do not take half measures. The ritual now had blood magick readily available, so I used it.
There was an angry looking jack skellington doll that had long ago been a gift. I put the blood on his cheeks like war paint, and put him atop the the wings - telling my gallery in no uncertain terms that I was done playing.
After I finished removing his feet, I double wrapped his body in plastic bags, and put all of the lingering past with him into the garbage. It was no longer welcome to take more time or space in, me nor at my hearth, so I sent it away.

I incorporated many items to represent important things in my life that have been equally a part of my magickal journeys and my day to day life. Things which are conducive to living magick both in my journeys and in my every day - an ever more important component to being able to accomplish my Work...
-a dried branch from my Apple Tree that went to Caldera Festival, and back, with me.
-a leaf from an adventure, with important little ones that I love, out on the trails of our property
-sand, shells, and bits of pine cone from Florida last year
-sand and shells from south Florida during the trip to the Bahamas this year
-the dirt that I gathered from next to the outdoor sacrificial fire during the main ritual (for finding our magick and bringing it back to serve our communities), while at retreat this year with the druids
- a stolen collection of two business cards and a single dollar (with my sigils in oil on it in it) from Penguicon
-some of the gems that a friend made, one of mine and one of LS which I kept, and one of mine that went into the wax of the Ellis candle for good

All of these things I used with careful purpose, intent upon telling the story of where I have tread and where I am now taking my life. I set my stage, and have brought it to life. Now I just have to keep up.
At the end I drew my runes, had my bourbon & some pecans socially (and in thanks to) the gathered, and asked a friend to interpret the stones.
As I cleaned up, and was packing everything away to head into the house...
I looked at the cloth that the runes were on ...

It was assembled by my grandmother, who I helped to cross earlier this spring, with a bit of silk on the back. The silk had a faded figure of a woman in a blue dress and hat. I don't even have a picture of it, but it buzzed with energy and purpose that night when I took it out to the ritual.
I had considered many appropriate uses for it.
It was given to me to handle properly.
I almost kept it.

It was the last thing I put in the fire.
I made certain it was understood by all gathered that all of my past was leading to my future, and if any of them questioned my dedication to (or had concerns about me staying focused on) the things coming, they should look down at the fire and watch the sacrifice burning.

Within a week an unhealthy relationship ended and the girl was moving out. I also went through a rather intense session of shadow work related to narcissistic people and my interactions with them, and began a purging and refocusing session regarding my magickal work.

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The Assault on Reality / Meeting Ellis on the Beach
« on: June 26, 2017, 05:03:16 pm »
The following was from Memorial Day weekend, 2017, on the shores of Lake Huron:

Saturday night I was sitting on the beach with my back to the fire. It was gaining on midnight, and I was watching Ellis walk down the sand from the place to the West she insisted I tag earlier in the day. She came to where I sat, took my face in her hands, and informed me that I was to stay focused here. I looked to the construct of my earlier working, just a few feet away in the other direction. She pulled my attention gently, but firmly back to her, and pointed behind her, where the network we both know so well highlighted itself and those I work with through it.
She said "We need you here with us."
I spent some time on the LS web then, to keep myself away from the other working, to give some space to the grief of the situation, and to reinforce my place in the work I do through the LS network. I found a quiet spot out there and pulled much of myself into the version me in that place, drawing into that form until I was glowing like a white hot blazing flame streaked with colors. Then I screamed. I watched some of the threads of the web take on that color streaked glow, and then I watched them shatter. I don't know what the results of this experience and imagery will be, but I am certain I will find out eventually.
It also happens that my work as a psychopomp seemed to gain me favor with the lake. The following day storms literally parted around us - rain coming right up to the edge of the shore but never touching the sand between the water and the yard of the house I was staying in, despite the storms rolling in on three sides. Reading the clouds as I took a walk down the beach, I watched worlds merge (many times over) in both the deep slate clouds to the East, and in the colorful, shifting, sun streaked embers of the clouds to the West.
As I returned to the cottage, I was called into the freezing waters of lake Huron. I charged into the lake from the dry beach, where they had watched rain striking the water only minutes before while I was out walking. There was lightning crashing to the East over Port Austin, and rain streaming down into the water out to the North. The front that continued rolling in from the West was back-lit by the sun setting, which created intense imagery in an ever shifting spectacle. That front never made it to us, instead continuing to split to the North and South around our small strip of beach and it's collection of houses.
Diving into the water, I embraced the cold waves that surrounded me. Pulling on the filtered rays of the sun, I deciding that they would be able to keep me warm enough to be safe while I worked. I walked out into the lake until the waves washed over my shoulders, then I got to work. I pulled threads from all of the physical components present, then from the resonance of every merging plane and world I had read in the clouds. Braiding them together, I then wove them through the nexus that I carry, building a copy for the working at hand.
Standing in icy water up to my shoulders, I drew the LS in the sand at my feet. Then I dove to draw my own symbol by hand in tandem with the other. Standing once more amid the waves, I grounded the new nexus in the dot of the LS, and walked out of the water just as the lightning in the East picked up once again.
Later, I watched something drag that newest construct out into the deeper waters. I contemplated how moving it further out would likely make life easier on the inhabitants along the shore. It seems there will be a crossing point off the thumb of Michigan out in lake Huron should it be needed.

The Assault on Reality / Two Year Project
« on: June 26, 2017, 04:55:41 pm »
About two years ago I posted about a tree I had found. I have a bit of an affinity for standing deadwood. I am fascinated by and adore such specimens might be more accurate. They are Inbetweens. Standing in the form they held as living things, but no longer living. They are the bones of old growth, and I love them. I found this one surrounded by chest high thistle, and I had to touch it. Stopped on the side of a dirt road, I walked through thorns more than half my height in sandals and a skirt to stand with this tree that had called to me. I don't remember if I went into detail about what I did other than tagging the tree.
What I found myself doing, standing near a crossroads surrounded by fields, communing with a dead tree, was to reach out to my most familiar places. The stars, the void, this world, and certain parts of the web which are held by Ellis. I asked my closest allies in those places to help me weave between them. A nexus woven through an inbetween by myself, my cohorts, and Miss Ellis.
Throughout the following year, I did a great deal of work with this tree, and our nexus. I continued to weave in new places that I found. I brought people to see and interact with the tree, the spaces around it, and the crossroads. I moved from friendly terms with Poppa Legbah to cohort after bringing one of his people to meet him at that crossroads. I walked the length of space between tree and crossroads myself, in the dead of night, weaving every form I could simultaneously control to prove myself worthy to the keepers of such places en mass. I learned to draw down the stars, I learned to reach through that nexus to the spaces it connected and shift things, and I learned how to carry enough of it with me that I might be able to access it from an island in the ocean, far from it's place near my home.
In the course of this time, I became concerned about what would happen when the physical form of the tree was no longer present. I wondered if it would matter if it was a natural occurrence or man made. I decided to account for this eventuality. I worked on the ties between the tree and the nexus, having decided that it would be best set a trigger for maintaining the stability of the nexus into the destruction of the physical tree. My intuition of this time, when it came, was that it would also trigger action, motion, a shift into a more serious and active phase of life.
Almost two months ago, we saw an intense wind storm come through Michigan. I found myself suddenly immersed in shadow work and catching up on every delayed aspect of my life. I was repairing my home, my mind, my spiritual neglect of self care, my relationships, my habits, my job - the whole of my life was getting combed through, and the excess was being pitched while the lacking demanded healing. Now, if you reference a certain ritual with an unfortunate rooster, you might see a certain pattern of behavior on my part. I have a tendency to periodically set myself up/kick my own ass in the name of spiritual and magickal progress or momentum.
Today was the first time since the windstorm that I have made my way to the tree, despite considering doing so several times. As a friend and I pulled up to the crossroads just south of the nexus, I was struck by an unfamiliar sight. To the East of the roadside ahead, there was no tree to be seen. Now, for a long while, I have carried within myself a mirror of the nexus I co-created that sunny day two springs ago. I had still felt the pull of it as we drove to that place, I had still felt the subtle shifts as we neared, but the tree itself no longer stood.
It had been hollow for so long that the land at the center of where it stood was rich black dirt. Filtered throughout that dirt were small, delicate, white shells. The took both spiraling form, like a snail would have, and the familiar half shell of every sandy beach I've explored. The tree lay in the ditch behind that space, with water flowing through what had been the lower half. We crawled out onto the tree, paying respects, giving thanks, saying hello and saying goodbye.
For a time, I was both called to the upper half of the fallen deadwood, and deterred from venturing there. Finally, I stepped from one half to the other, carefully testing my steps before putting weight to the movements. As I moved down the length of the deadwood, my friend exclaimed "look out" - and I abruptly stood while asking what she was seeing. I watched her point to a big black spider that had crawled out of the wood near where the upper and lower halves of the deadwood were closest. I could not see the red spot she saw on it, as it had decided to move away down into the grasses next to the deadwood, but this was her biggest reason for concern.
I decided to be more cautious about my exit, paying attention to the creatures sharing space, and asking politely if I had completed all I needed to do. I repeated the process when moving from the lower half back to the mound on which the tree had stood. I continued to be uncertain of the species of the spider, as the body and limbs seemed different than the widow my friend had been afraid the spider had been. I did continue to not the significance of its presence in that moment.
More curious yet was the second occurrence of a spider just a short while later. I went home directly from the site of the nexus, and proceeded to do yard work. There were still many limbs from the windstorm in my yard, and they had to move for the lawn to be mowed. At the end of this process, while unloading the last of the small sticks, I found a second thick legged, large black spider with red markings in the bottom of the wheelbarrow. The red markings were on the back, and the spider as a whole was of a similar structure to the one I glimpsed at the tree. It would seem that a less deadly spider was plenty to remind me of Ellis, for which I am glad.
It would also seem that my plan to stabilize the working went as planned, and I am very glad that I face enough of my shadow to take such an impact while remaining more than functional. I would, however, caution folks to be careful what you carry with you after a working.Thanks for listening, so to speak. It was a hell of a two year project.

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The Art Lab / Wherever you are...
« on: June 26, 2017, 03:48:52 pm »
Remember that where ever you are, we are just a link away, and you can reach wherever you need to.  LS

The Study / Being a living representation of the AoR
« on: June 26, 2017, 03:05:44 pm »
I would like to remind folks that once you hit a certain level of living Magick, you yourself become walking propaganda.

Throughout my life, I have often been the exception. I was the pagan that could get the Christian to listen, without them even realizing it. I was the chick wearing goth makeup that some for some reason looked beautiful, not scary. I was acceptable in almost any situation. I began leveraging this even as a child to "broaden perspectives." Since I could get away with it I would bring up the opposing position, the odd concept, or the outright defiance of what someone was familiar with.

By the time I hit adulthood, I was practicing healing Magick & divination, and had parsed (out of necessity) empathy and basic premonition (primarily from dreams). This only served to increase the eccentricity of my presentation. Oddly enough, it also increased the breadth of application for this phenomenon of being the exception. So I leveraged it harder. I could offer insight, and folks would consider it first and question it later, if at all. I had enough parlor tricks by late high school that I could push the perceptions people had of reality just by practicing my Magick. It was entertaining, so they would volunteer to be guinea pigs.

During more philosophical discussions, I discovered I could get people to consider the "impossible." All I was doing was speaking openly from my own perspective. I had had a very different experience with the world, I was good at conveying that experience in terms they found familiar, because I took the time to learn a bit of their personal language. I put time into understanding them, and then helped them understand me. It just so happened that I exist external to most people's paradigm.

I have learned to keep grounded enough that folks continue to consider me rational, sane, and realistic. I present the strangest subject matter, while being excited about it, or passionate, but without striking notes of the fanatic. I also allow people their safe paradigm. I stand just at the edge of that security bubble and talk about wonders. I show hints, little glimpses of Magick in my stories and in my interactions. I "shine" at them just a little bit, by letting down a couple of the walls between us for a time. (Shine too brightly and the freak the fuck out, so careful there.)

Now, I have progressed to a place where my entire existence is laced with my magickal practices. There isn't anything I do that isn't magickal. I live it. This has also come with the side effect of people constantly telling me that there is a way about me, or and energy to me, or just something... I have moved into personally being a baseline interruption of people's expectations.
My point is that all along the way it has been possible for me to leverage my experience against other people's experiences, and effectively shift their paradigm. Presentation accounts for a fair amount, but being magickal counts for way more.

So remember, you are a living representation of the AoR. The most effective way that you can create materials for the AoR is by bringing your own understanding into the propaganda. Make it personal to you - they don't have to know who you are, their subconscious will catch the authenticity of your work. You have experienced the unknown - leverage that experience.

The Art Lab / Remember
« on: December 08, 2014, 11:03:41 pm »
Remember the misplaced sounds of the cosmos singing
Remember memories stripped away
Remember the sound as stars rush through wings
                The impossible truth
                The taste of blood on the air
The inhumane culling of kin
The war of benevolent creatures
The kind turned cruel
The spiral into unrequited death
The beautiful shards of our broken souls
Reformed as threads to bind us
The embrace of a beautiful prison
Finding the fallen scattered
Tattered scraps in a storm
Torn, betrayed, and angry
I remember who still didn’t believe
I remember the arguments of wishful ignorance
I remember the whisper of hope breaking my heart.
Your memories brush my mind, stirring ages past from their slumber
Rising from the depths, into this existence they creep
Impossible worlds flickering against the one beneath my feet.
Whenever we meet, without straining to speak,
The light in your eyes is a living memory of the world I seek
The scent of the void drifts on the air
Catch a hint of the burning they could not fathom 
And see the echo of worlds unraveling in the lengths of your hair
With the brush of your touch lightning strikes
                Illuminate the forgotten
                Flickering memories flash
                Superimposed upon this life
The feel of worlds crumbling beneath our feet
                We were angels
                We were demons
                We were fate and the fated 
                We were seers and weavers and singers all
                We walked the inbetweens and lived in many worlds
                We are displaced profits with no homes left to seek
Many gathered with nothing more to loose
Our lost we recover
Our bindings we break
Our talents are returning
Our truth we reclaim

Chaos Magic & Beyond / Healing
« on: November 11, 2014, 05:51:10 am »
Sometimes I do this healing thing. It works, more reliably and faster now than it used to.  I work with the energy networks of the body. Not chakras exactly, though I can see how they tie in, but the actual systems of the body seen as energy webs.

I am in the process of working on three projects that I would like to keep track of here:

Nerve damage in the hands.

Rheumatoid Arthritis, specifically starting with the knee of this individual that is the consistent point of presentation.

Nerve and circulation damage from diabetes that went wrong, the resulting fall, and recovery from going septic during this process.

These are major projects, and when I make headway with them, it will be a solid enough basis for me to start turning my life to this sort of task. I think it will be interesting, and this is a convenient place to keep track of it all.

Here goes!

The Study / Self Care
« on: November 10, 2014, 05:33:09 pm »
Even those of us who have been following this path as a life-long process have to remember to provide for ourselves. We have to make sure that the energy we output is balanced by the input of energy from various channels of our lives. Ideally, we would have a surplus coming in so that we can store some for a rainy day.

We encounter reasons for outputting energy in a hundred little ways every day, in addition to the rolling list of serious endeavors with which we challenge ourselves. We work and play, tend to our homes, families, and friends. We also forcibly attempt to change the fabric of this reality.

The thing is that we tend to get used to this output, and forget the toll it takes on us. For instance:
How many stop lights did you pass through today? Did you try to push each of them? (Or create a flow through them, or flick the switch controlling them, etc.)
Did you push your phone to connect to the web a little faster while you were at a stoplight trying to post?
Did you will your classmates to do their part of the project they are putting off?
Did you push a little juju at the machine reading your debit card so it would read the fast deteriorating magnetic strip on a card you just don't have time to get replaced?
A million little things still add up to a lot of resources dumped into your day.

That doesn’t even include the more distinct things we do:
How many times did you purposely ground yourself, or clear your energy fields of the debris of the world around you?
Did you work on that weave for bringing fortune to your business?
Did you spend some time with your favorite egregore?
Did you throw a little magic at something someone posted for help with?
Did you account for the fetch you sent to a sick friend? Because that part of you still draws from its source and the source is you.
Did you remember to keep something in reserve in case some little nasty decides you look like a buffet? What if it's not such a "little" nasty?

How much of your resources do you keep at hand, and how much do you keep in reserve? Are you aware that your output may change drastically at a moment's notice?
You might have to give up the resources that keep you from catching every little illness this season so you don’t get smeared by that semi on the highway tomorrow.
You might have to stop fighting the effects of arthritis right now in order to keep yourself from being broken by the pneumonia you developed.
You might have the perfect method of fighting a global issue dawn on you, and have to act on it - now.
Or you might find one of those moments where you evolve a bit....
Are you prepared to be a little hobbled in order to grow or survive? Will you remember not to push every light in your favor as you recover?

Most of this doesn't sound like it provides much of an option, especially trading necessary processes for emergency saves.
That is why Self Care is important. Making sure you are aware of your ever evolving abilities and limitations is the difference between brushing past the worst repercussions and falling head first into the quicksand (where things like "not being able to continue your work because you burned out" happens).

The things we take in (food, environmental energy, knowledge, guidance, direct input from others) are the building blocks for continuing to do the work we do. The input of these things is essential, but knowing that is the easy part. The purer the input, the greater the resulting output. Food is the simplest, there are a billion places to gain info on eating healthy.

However, there's not as much info about what you do when you are still hungry after the food, when you are starving for energy input, inspiration, or information. The serious reality of the situation is that the hunger for these things is just as real, and much harder to accommodate. The lack of these resources will still lead to discomfort, anxiety, frustration, fatigue, and sometimes illness.
Especially if you are going through certain processes, like the ones that developing shaman go through.

Whether we sing, write, heal, paint, cast, draw art on people, build cities, or adopt new traditions: we work to destroy the structure of this paradigm and prepare the world for change.
For those who hear the Call (the all encompassing desire, push, need to follow the path of action to change the world), the work requires our continuing time and attention. The deeper into the work we go the more time, attention, and energy it demands. Sometimes this extent of this demand is such that if you are not paying enough due attention to these tasks, your body will actually try to shut down while you are trying to attend to other things.
Want to play that game? Sorry, you’re too tired.
Having a pointless conversation with someone mundane? Your irritation level is going to irrationally skyrocket now.
Have you been too busy to do that research? I guess you just don't want to be able to pay attention to anything until you do.

By the time you learn to balance paying enough continuing attention to the work, you have probably started to notice extremes of unspent energy and energy drops. Here you end up running high or low on energy if you don’t find ways to mediate it. Either excess is disruptive to say the least.
Self Care is acting on the mindful recognition of this circumstance. It is acting on your own behalf to avoid the impact of these issues on your daily life. Discovering the best methods of input for you, and the appropriate sources to tap is part of this process. Another part is the mediation: taking care not to overextend, having a plan for when you do. Rest, proper food, time in your favorite places is all important (they are your favorite for a reason, as they are usually your best environmental energy resources). These are all the simple steps to keeping things balanced. Finding the people who inspire you, who can relate to this part of your life, is essential. You may recognize that this is a relief, that you gain ground with these people as resources. You may not realize that you need the energy input that you provide one another. The act of interacting with one another is a mutual energy exchange, and it becomes more and more important the further you delve. For some people, conversation is enough. For others touch is key, and to varying levels.

Remember too that different people will provide different levels and types of energy. Also be aware that some people are adept at maintaining balance with these transfers, and some don't even recognize the exchange is happening. If you are the more aware individual, you will need to wage some sort of control over this process, to maintain a reciprocating flow, otherwise one of you will inevitably take or give away too much. This can be just as bad, or worse, than not attending to the hunger in the first place.

Now for the excesses: the energy buildups that leave you vibrating at a dangerous level, where grounding doesn't work. Sometimes this is from too much input of a given energy type, sometimes it's because another area is so depleted that you are way overbalanced. You might feel like you could accomplish the all of the things, but really you need to focus it somewhere. Either use it for some distinct work, or remove it from an overloading system. Think of a circuit that gets doesn't go well. Things fry, get burnt out, and don't ever work the same again. You don't want to be that circuit.

For excess there are a variety of options:

Give back to someone in need, a friend who burns at both ends often.
Give to something in nature (a friend of mine used to give back to small trees planted in urban areas, surrounded by cement and development).
Create something. Whatever your art is, Do It.

Feed the network. Let someone else draw it from there, or let Ellis determine where it should go.

Or squirrel that shit away. Keep it, store it, horde it till you need it. It's ok to have it, just don't try to store it all inside you. Put it in rocks, tie it up in knots on a cord, stash it in a well in your favorite part of the house. Whatever works for you. 

The Art Lab / Rise
« on: October 22, 2014, 11:26:28 pm »
Below and above
I seek the pathways in between
To bring those I love
Here from worlds unseen
Listen close and step softly
Take care to hear her speak
Warning you strongly
Of the dangers of the weak
The whimpers and wishes fail
To protect a world of lies
The strong will prevail
As we rip apart the ties
A whisper wraps about me
I feel the hum in the air
I set the wonders free
As the edges start to wear
Find a new meaning for we
With the change in your eyes
From worlds that cannot be
Our fallen will rise

Member Introductions / Greetings
« on: September 30, 2014, 10:54:49 pm »
Hello All,

I am an intuitive, and an energy worker. I was solitary for most of my life, and have only begun to work with others in the last five years or so. Much of this is due to seeking to understand how I function with the worlds around me. Once I got that under control, I found I was able to start learning the language of other individuals (as we all function a little differently than one another, and voice it even more so). This let me compare other methods with my own, and pickup/open up many new tricks along the way. Really, that's why I am here. Every time I come across something that has that spark - like Ellis - it sheds understanding on a new corner of my existence. That's how I find things. It opens doors, pulls up memories, and reminds me.

After all, that is what this is all about: pushing boundaries and breaking chains.

 ;D Here we go!


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