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Good to meet you, hope you stay.

Alright, so who are these peoples you keep mentioning? Do you know yet who is coming?

Enu and Nul



Hear me and travel forth O Dancing Twins
The Black, the White, Bifold progression of the NU
Which sunders the ages.
*chime*
I wait upon the threshold of creation
To participate in its unfolding.
The gate is open, the path is drawn.
*chime*
The gate is open, the path is drawn!
*chime*
*gaze intently on the sigil*
(?)
The gate is open. Our lives split always.
*chime twice in succession*

This is the improved version which incorporates phrases the twins said to me. I don't know what to add after the gaze intently part. The sign of rending the veil might be appropriate, or not. As usual, the last line was used at the end as a closing.

Day one happened at dusk.  The incense in the photo is sandalwood and rose, but nothing except the white candle would stay lit. Despite that, the twins responded to me quickly. The strongest feeling came from the sigil itself, and that was consistent throughout the week. After watching the sigil for a while, two... centers of feeling would make themselves known and gradually clarify into children matching the descriptions given. They appeared in different locations around me and eventually started talking, but what little I could catch was nonsense. I tried scrying into a bowl of dark water but threw it out to the side because it wasn't working.

By closing my eyes and looking at the back of them instead of the imperfect scrying bowl, I started to get somewhere. Turning to my left, towards Nul, was a shape like a deer skull with long curvy antlers, which became like a white, long limbed, bendy, vaguely human shape. Then a crescent moon cupped upward with another, larger silver crescent laid over it, over the part of the smaller circle that was visibly in shadow. Somewhere during this Enu touched my left arm and I felt a cold tingly sensation spread through the left side of my body. I felt dazed and kind of wavy. I tried to repeat some of the words they said to the voice recorder: "My life. Popcorn." (saw an image of popcorn). "Carro. Rexus disthymonae. I'm feeling void of my fingers. Sitting sun, tulips, rolling to another night. Tongues twisted endymonae... muchas gracias." I was laughing quietly and turning to watch them dart around me. "We're sitting on the pedestal of U-torrent" (said Nul, sitting atop my altar).

It was nonsense, but I had to mention that it was "special nonsense". They kept up this behavior the other times I saw them during the week. I thought they might be playing parrot, like a kid who repeats everything you say, except they were repeating any junk that was in my head somewhere. It became clearer the more I listened and I started to get clearer pictures, including a moonlit forest, a gigantic red jellyfish floating overhead, and archway of trees leading to a stone door. I pushed the door open with my foot and only saw darkness inside, but turned around when one of the twins told me not to go in. A partially shadowed moon, a swingset, "Blatant concord snapping like tulips in the fray," and more in this vein. I thought I heard chirping but couldn't tell if I was actually hearing it or imagining/"hearing" it.

I started to pack up and more happened, which I'll skim over. I saw things from the perspective of the trees, kind of airy with a deep connection to what they touched. I felt a spirit beside the path that made my ears ring, and it was so tangible that I couldn't tell whether or not I was actually seeing a blinking light in the gloom. Some real shit started coming to me where I felt and half-saw a slenderman-like thing that lived in the woods. When I tried to describe it I ended up channeling a long cryptic message that I'll leave out unless someone wants to hear it. The mood had shifted when it got dark, but since I'd looked up info on the actual danger of animal and human attacks in this area, it seemed more like a risk I was consciously taking. Some mental/emotional stuff happened where the fear became a psychological thing that I could grapple with, distinct from the actual danger, and the dark wilderness became the ancient one that our ancestors walked out of and the one that eventually eats everyone, and I'm going over this quickly because, although it was an important part of the night and triggered by the evocation, it's probably one of those personal things that I'm not *supposed* to be posting all over the wide internetz.

-----------------------

Day two, performed at dawn. It was a little bit lighter than what I'd have liked and thinking about this might have interfered with my focus. The incense went out again and Enu and Nul's behavior was like before. The nonsense appears to be a preferred form of communication; there's a signal in the noise that becomes more clear as you listen for it. Once I "saw" a moon over a mountain when looking to my left, Enu-side. To my right, a black circle obscuring a glowing one, like an eclipse. Otherwise, there isn't much to report.

-----------------------

Day three, Friday night at midnight, I drove to my old elementary school and did the ritual in a semi-open moonlit area, just past the line of trees at the edge of the property, where I'd be less likely to be disturbed. First, though, I glitterbombed the hell out of the playground, mostly with marked quarters and river rocks, drawing on my memories of the corners that kids investigate and adults overlook.

The candles and incense stayed lit this time, probably because I'd let them burn a while in the still air at my house. Sacrament was a shot of espresso. The marathon starts and ends on the full moon, encompassing two eclipses – whoever chose the dates, did you plan this?

I got a response within about a minute of looking at the sigil. As before, the sigil was where most of the activity was, while the visualized forms of the two appeared around me. Ideas started coming to me rapidly: Two crescent moons facing outwards, with a dot between them above my head. Solid glowing walls to either side, either I was holding them open or something was holding them for me, forming a path down the middle (gate is open, path is drawn!) They've got a thing for very tangible-seeming spirits; I felt another one over in the trees. The sigil was actually turning in my vision at this point. The sigil is prison bars; you have to hold them apart in order to go through. Because reality is prison-like unless you "architect them" (their words). The twins appeared serpent-like when they weren't human children, but not quite, like monstrous snakes with many legs and tails. I saw a few other paths weaving around the area; metaphorically speaking, assuming you're not able to walk off trail, your mobility depends on how well you know the intersections of the paths.

Here's speculation and personal gnosis:

Enu and Nul are children because the whole thing is a game. They like toys and games which represent the world; the two are much more worldly than the last few egregores. In terms of the cycle – at least the way I did it, with the twins outside and after the main progression – what the last three have had in common is that they are all "scarcely imaginable" due to being everywhere at once. Then when you're tired of trying to multiply infinities, Enu/Nul is a return to limitation and definition, but this time with the understanding that allows circumstances to be manipulated. They have to do with problem solving and one's ability to "architect" or design the world around them; it reminds me of the type of magician that pulls bunnies out of hats. What they reveal allows you to more effectively shape your surroundings. It's our job to find the moving parts in the world, like a puzzle where all but a few parts seem locked in place, and we just have to fiddle with the mobile parts until we figure it out. So they might associate with tools as easily as with toys, which are the same thing in a child's mind; any kind of tool, from a hammer to a pencil. Any of the egregores could be described as lockpicks for reality, but these two especially. They're a tool that loosens pieces (Nul) and puts them into a new place (Enu). They're also children, with all the themes of duality and death of the old, birth of the new that others have mentioned. They explore, play, and make the future. They're two different kinds of curiosity. Enu is sweet in the way that sweetness feeds and allows growth. There's more to her than that, though, this is all just scratching the surface. Nul is sort of empty, like air, and he's an aspect of death so there's all that. The shadow of the earth over the moon, whereas Enu is the full moon. Or in my current surroundings, the shadows cast by moonlight vs the areas that were illuminated.

There is a bleeping whirring noise on the recording right after I strike the last chime. Could be some kind of interference from the ringing, or else it's omg spirits.

-----------------------

I began this week with a furious desire to make something. Until now I've been following along the material that's already out there. What did I get from it? Inspiration, synchronicity, growth and a whole lotta crazy dreams. Looking back at earlier cycles that have been performed, creating one's own path was always heavily emphasized, whereas this one had more of the idea that we would follow a similar structure. Although I think everyone did their own thing for the most part, anyway. I didn't follow the suggested structure with the Ellisian banishing and Khaos transvocation because, honestly, it was too much to memorize alongside school and everything else. But to really complete the cycle you have to reach the end of the materials available and then start making things; the switch between consuming and creating is one of the most important things the cycle wants to do to you. That could be part of the symbolism, for me at least, of Enu/Nul coming out of Conjunctio.

Most of the egregores have appeared very friendly, aside from the dark woods thing and possibly the white queen. Week four especially I was prepared to face some shit, but Trigag acknowledged me and that was about it. The only reasons I can see that one would be actively aggressive, rather than just ignoring you, is if they were challenging you for your own growth, or possibly if they were trying to use you, or if you did something exceptionally annoying. Echoing Doombringer, there just wasn't any need for them to be violent and adversarial at the moment.

Now what? I'm going to go make and break and move things. I've taken what I can from these last two months. I'm braver, more technically skilled, and I feel much less noobish. The boost in artistic skills from week three, the pirate speech and ease of writing from week five, and whatever it was that I felt at the end of last week have all faded, confirming that they came from the entities. Yet, I think they've changed me in some way on a deep level and that I could access the abilities again. I've tested the effects of Monday night by going back to the woods after dark. The fear was nearly gone from the beginning, and the rest dropped off of me as I walked, until I was as comfortable as if it had been daytime... so that part is going to last, anyway. If my descriptions have sounded dramatic, it's because this new to me. The results I've mentioned might be everyday business for you. Honestly, I didn't *really* believe in the capabilities of spirits, either internal or external, when I started this, and the power of it caught me off guard. I think about what I'd have missed had I not gone overboard with the three times/week. If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.

Enough reflecting. I do it too goddamn much, and we have a world to burn...!

Oh God, that image XD

And what I meant is that I want for people to still be able to work with the egregores outside of a strict singular progression. Maybe someone new comes in and they've already gone up through the dark night in one respect, so Zalty is what calls them, while in another area of their life they're still in the connection and initiation phase so they end up working with Ellis or Doombringer in that regard. Then maybe they have a specific project that they want to use Ino or Trigag or one of the others for, and so on. I have seen the attention hogging behavior you describe and I didn't think of it as a problem, but I can see how it might be. Honestly, at the time I was kind of flattered because until then I'd been the one trying to attract their attention.


(PS: Call me Ringtail. Avianna is something I pulled out of a name generator and it's actually been bothering me but I don't know what to change it to.)

Something about this is making me uneasy but I barely know what I'm talking about. You wanted my debate and contest, so there it is. You know the situation better than I.


Is anyone else watching this thread who has something to add?

Print off some artwork from the media section and leave them on shelves around a shopping mall.

I get what you're saying. I've been seeing it as both pantheon and connected progress engine and I like that it can act as both. From what you're saying, the point of this ritual is to make Conjunctio the spirit of the connected engine/the godform part of dkmu/the push back to the other side of the veil, more than it is already. I see the marathon thing as establishing an initial connection with each of the entities through which they can find you and you can find them, since no one is going to really go through the full path in two months.


I connect more easily with some of the godforms than others, which I'm sure is true of most everyone. Some of that might be due to the hidden dynamics of my life right now and I'll see a drift over time, while some of it I might keep coming back to. Stripping away the godform mask for a minute, people bounce between different aspects of reality throughout their lives but also have a few core affiliations that stick with them. None of it is really permanent, it's just that one "stage" might last their whole life, and any given archetype is deep enough to devote more than a lifetime to. I think it would be a mistake to expect people to visibly work through the whole cycle from one to the next like in the marathons, or that they would do it all with the the dkmu godforms, or that it would happen in any recognizable order.


It's more like the path is there on an ideal level and it works with people in whatever way will do the most for their growth.

What bothers me about the way the godforms are presented isn't that they're not cohesive, but the idea that they're not out there to change the world.


I haven't been here long and I could be wrong about all of this. Also, where can I read about the original Chelseanacht?

Just realized I've been playing metaphysical pokemon for eight weeks.

I know this week was set up to be Enu and Nul. Somewhere early on I got that confused and have been preparing for Conjunctio with the twins happening next week. Since my thoughts were already set on this, I went ahead with it.

Monday at noon I attempted to evoke CJ0 from 420 land the clearing I used for the King and Queen.

I banished, by the end of which everything felt legendary, sat down facing the sigil and lit some incense. I'd painted it in black on a gold background with a border, but part of the toner had run out halfway through the printing, conveniently causing the paper to be a lighter shade on one side and split down the middle.

By examining the Conjunctio sigil under the influence I could see all sorts of symbolism in it, some of which might actually be there. The X is the King, the O is the Queen, and between them they come together into the alchemical symbol of water. The "juice" is squeezed out of them and falls into a puddle, then meanders like a stream until it leaps up in something that looked to me like a fire. That or a mermaid's tail. The rest I couldn't tell. Possibly the cross relates to heaven and earth and the shape attached to the X is either a question mark or related to the astrological symbols of Saturn and/or Jupiter. There's a bunch of alchemical stuff, anyway, which makes sense and matches my choice of gold for a background color.

I looked at the sigil and said some pretty words that I don't remember, and my phone ran out of battery so I couldn't take notes. I arranged the first five godforms, or my knowledge of them, behind me, with the King and Queen in front between me and the sigil, and then tried to draw the line between them. Problem was, I had no idea how I would know if I was successful. I went as deep as I could and tried to scry different paths my life could take, but I don't know how seriously to take the answers. It rained once while the sun shone and a deer came walking through the woods, froze and then bounded away when it saw me, which at the time was beyond amazing.

I asked to be shown "the forms Chaos takes" and saw three in front of me. A negative form, represented by a black hole, a positive form, represented by the Conjunctio sigil, and one in between that might have been called disarray and looked like a square of clashing colors, mostly red and purple. Sometime after this I started shaking violently, which might have partly been shivering because it had gotten cold, and I was using heat and cold as another dichotomy to try to collapse. I took a stick and forcefully drew this symbol and the word "adrian" in the dirt.




I don't know anyone named Adrian. Most online sources say the name simply means "from Adria." One source gives it as "Black; dark; of the Adriatic (sea)." The same source has some bullshit on how people with this name "tend to be idealistic, highly imaginative, intuitive, and spiritual" and try to inspire people. Wikipedia says it originally comes from the Venetic word for water. Urban dictionary says it's a "hot ass guy who's strong and smart." As for the glyph, it has a similar style to Enu/Nul but otherwise I don't recognize it.

As I said, I was shaking and pretty far from reality. I tried to represent the means and method of manifestation with the hot coal of an incense stick and the skin of my arm, respectively, and gave myself a little mini-seizure where I laughed/cried and clawed at the ground for what might have been somewhere in the range of a minute. Recovering from that, I thought I'd try an inhibitory version so I went into a deep dark void state and didn't breathe much. I was picked out of this and replaced on the ground by Doombringer, who was flying with leathery grey skin and wings and a head like a chattertooth toy that talked in a metallic voice. Might have also seen Ellis at one point. I then tried a third which I called "Bidirectional Ecstasy" which is simultaneously excitatory and inhibitory (and I think the phrase Double Crowley applies here well). Interestingly, in whatever this state was I had the control to push myself close to reality and become more aware of my surroundings. I explained to myself that "Bidirectional is god state, paradoxically closest and farthest from normal."

I tried to lift rocks, make the wind blow, make an eagle appear, etc. with no luck. Did some sigils I had in my pocket and some other direct manipulations, so I'll see if any of that happens. I thanked the godforms behind me, left and was back to normal by evening aside from being utterly exhausted the next day. I don't know how real any of this was. Really, I need more practice with drug magic before I could know if there was anything out of the ordinary.

---

I wanted to try again under my own power to see the difference. I had the bright idea to bring my tulpa into this with an active role, so I set up with the sigil of RK in front of where he would be, the WQ in front of me, and the Conjunctio sigil between us with more incense. I banished and we walked in a pentagram shape drawing the sigils of the godforms and calling them, with my tulpa holding my hand which held the knife. I was somewhat surprised that they all answered us, even Trigag. It helped that there were two of us; Ino in particular responded to him quickly and powerfully. They were one and all of the opinion that this wasn't going to work, but willing to let us try.

My idea had been for my tulpa and I to connect ourselves to the King and Queen and then visualize a circuit of energy or electricity between us. On my end I was able to reach the queen by remembering last week. I don't know how my tulpa fared. He seemed very far away from me and it became extremely hard for me to hear or see him. Neither of us could gather up enough energy to even imagine fancy lightning tricks. After several tries he got the message across to me that this was making him feel sick and he was done with it, so we stopped it there.

After dismissing everyone I closed with the banishing which sounded bad and felt right. I burned the sigils and sat down in front of the ashes holding my athame and suddenly feeling very peaceful, letting my mind wander over the last two months and the fragments of sigils that passed behind my eyelids. Completion is the word, I felt complete, as though even in failing I'd done what I was supposed to do (my failures aren't mistakes, as I've been told at least twice now). Driving home I could see how most of my life is ruled by habit and how it doesn't need to be that way, and the process of making one's thoughts real – Red King and White Queen are what I think and what I can make happen, loosely, and so I've always been Conjuntio. Or at least I am anytime I act out of free will. Of course I've come up with that before intellectually, but the ideas and more importantly the attendant feeling came out of nowhere, except for thinking how this is (sort of) the end of the marathon. So maybe I did pull it off, in a quiet way.

I feel unusual and not half bad. Like I took a shower when I didn't, and also like a bridge between imagination and reality.

If I could suggest something/muse for a bit.


I never saw the point in building yet another pantheon that exists just to remask the same old archetypes. Now that I've worked with them, okay, they're pretty cool, and it's good to have a pantheon or whatever they are that's chaos-focused and not tied down with a lot of cultural baggage. But I still don't like the idea of them just being there. What put me off initially was the sense that, while the AoR is primarily outward focused and deals with affecting the world we can see, the godform thing looked like a retreat from the world to dig around in discarnate levels of reality mostly just for the hell of it.


Which is exactly what it is. There's kind of a pull and push dynamic. The Assault takes things from behind the veil and tries to bring them out into the sunlight to catch people's attention. The godforms, then, exist to take the ball (initiate, oistar) from Ellis and carry it back to the other side, thus effecting an exchange of information and slowly wearing the barrier down while also giving the oistar the power to start thaumaturging things back in the other direction. Other initiatory paths serve the same purpose, hence why Ellis doesn't seem to care whether anyone she attracts starts following this set of godforms in particular. Specifically, any curious newb who takes up a chaos path would immediately run into an analogue of Doombringer and go from there.


My point is that the godforms aren't meant to be a static system, imo, they're actually the other half of the assault on reality and part of the overarching scheme to initiate everyone.
So, if I could suggest something...
I have no idea what I was going to suggest.
That the cycle be seen as an active force drawing people to the Other places, not just something that sits there.

It's like when you stand in front of a closed door with your eyes closed and can still tell (possibly through echolocation) that the door's there. If it's not blocked, in a way you can look through the sigil and possibly see/imagine things behind it, and there's a sense of energy flowing out. I don't know if the door being open automatically means that contact is occurring and I may not have the sensitivity to recognize it. But it does mean it's possible, whereas if it's closed from the beginning there's not much I can do to make it budge.

Another way of saying it is that the sigil looks intelligent. Like the difference in the eyes of a human vs. a dog vs. a fish.

Week seven.

No altar, so no pics. I changed my format for this week.

I went into the woods about an hour before dawn on Monday and again got myself worked up over the idea of a wild animal attack. I don't know how real the risk is. My instincts tell me to be very afraid, but my logical mind doesn't have any hard data to refute it. I think I was able to channel the fear well, and I had the presence of mind to notice that the scenery and the ancestral nature of the fear itself were really cool. There was light from  the city, the stars, and the moon appropriately in waning crescent, but the close trees blocked it out so that I could only just see the path.

I arrived at the site, banished, sat down to look for a long time into the sigil and ad-libbed a petition to the Queen to let me meet with her. The sigil didn't look flat the way they do when contact is blocked, but it was hard for me to tell if anything was happening because she wouldn't appear in humanoid or symbolic form. I took some notes in my sketchbook:

Condenses by killing.
Do I want to know her?
My instinct calls her evil... I presume to know better.
But danger. More danger than anything yet.
Beyond this place of wrath and fear looms but the horror of the shade. And yet the menace...
Related to [some revelations I got a couple years ago].
But constraint gives form, makes real.
She's no ghost.
Where death makes unreal, she makes real
And nothing but.
There's no nothing, so don't be scared.
Encountering her is different from others. She's just there.
I must live in ignorance. Most of the time.
She's here though.

As I walked back along the path I whistled a few long notes which resonated with the scene. She was in the sound of my whistle. It was dark enough that I could just see wavering skeletal shapes appear and disappear deliriously behind the trees.

Her nature reminded me of something I read in an article posted on Facebook: "Every law-order is in a state of war against the enemies of that order, and all law is a form of warfare." ...The connection made more sense when I was trying to sleep after getting home. My chest ached into the next day.

---

Since the first night was influenced by the setting, I tried something different for comparison. I got up at the same time of night and set up my laptop with black construction paper blocking the light from the screen. I leaned the sigil against it lit by three white taper candles. I didn't banish because I though the informality might help, and I was already in the right frame of mind from having just woken up. Nighttime in the basement under the LS tacked on the wall meant there were spiders crawling around me the whole time. At least five, and probably more that I didn't see.

After looking into the sigil and trying to listen to some music, which only distracted me, I pulled up a word file and started typing a story without being able to see the screen. It was difficult at first, but as I'd hoped it quickly took on its own life that I could interact with. It's free association with some parts that acted like dialogue. Here's the cleaned up text if you want to read it.

I woke up the next morning from lucid dreams with the sense of intuitive inspiration back, which had tapered off over the last week or so. My left forearm felt like it wasn't entirely there. That's not too unusual, I've had it happen before.

---

The night before the third attempt I slept restlessly. In my dreams I spoke improvised poetry to the sigil which caused my chest to erupt in a sense of dissolving white euphoria. But even in my sleep I couldn't tell whether it was my own, since I've run across the feeling before, or if it even had anything to do with the godform. I woke up and the sensation remained, indistinguishable between anxiety and ecstasy, making my chest hurt and preventing me from sleeping.

Around four AM I drove out to a graveyard with nothing but my athame, the sigil, and some warm white clothes. The sky was overcast and rainsnowing lightly, ground was covered in slush. I stuck the sigil upright in the snow, banished and recited the evocation-like inspired writing that Theobald had posted from the last Godform Cycle. I just kind of threw it out there and then after a couple seconds I turned around and left. There was no reason for me to stay. I didn't really expect to outdo the previous night, but I wanted to use that calling once. The format of the sigillum evocations has been the only real constant through these weeks and it feels like it's tying the whole thing together. Also, I just like the sound of it.

Before I drove off I decided I didn't like the way I'd spoken the evocation, so I repeated it to myself quietly. I thought I could feel her in the sky and imagined I saw lines like those that might make up a sigil, but not any one in particular. The weather continued surreally into the morning. Everyone I talked to expressed shock or confusion at hearing thunder at seven in the morning in what looked like a snowstorm. Maybe that's more common in other parts of the globe.

I think the sense of "it's just there" is characteristic of the White Queen, or at least of my interactions this week with her. She does seem dark to me and I incorporated that into my approach. At the end I'm left feeling like I want to say something more, but there's nothing else.

But as soon as I turn away I feel it activate. Moving mechanistic parts making the world happen.

On.

Groups that emphasize conformity are, by their nature, more cohesive than those that do not, so they have the numbers. We can fight back, because stifling a person like that kills their effectiveness. A genius is worth a thousand wage slaves.


And there sure as hell are some "higher beings" promoting order, stupidity and general helplessness among the population. Look in the direction the money flows.

Week six.

I've found a private section of the woods much closer to my home. It makes my life much easier not having to drive forty five minutes just to find somewhere that I won't be bothered during the daytime. I planned these to happen just before the sun went down.




The evocations themselves were not successful, at least not immediately. I arrived early on the first day and poked around in the woods feeling very much like I was in a fairy tale. I informally called both my tulpa and Doombringer, who had agreed to help since I wasn't sure I'd be able to make the connection myself. I'm not sure he actually did anything except to say at the beginning that "if you mess up, it's not a mistake." Which as usual can be taken to mean a handful of things. The wind kicked up, took out the candles and eventually blew the sigil off the table. My hands were tingling and once I felt a light sensation of heat, but there was no contact that I could discern. I got locked in the trance state and had to banish to get a hold of myself, then redo the evocation from the top before I could leave. It took a full two hours before I felt normal. I think this happened because I tried to leave too early.

Day two I used a truncated version of the Sigillum evocation to call Doombringer. He was kind of irritable and said that I was supposed to do this myself. When I tried to explain myself and find a polite way to say he could leave if he wanted, I was cut off by a magpie shouting in a tree overhead. I kept opening my mouth but I couldn't talk above that racket. It gave three loud series of squawks and then flew off when I turned forward to do the RK calling.

I briefly got the feeling that the sigil was looking at me, then it seemed to look away and the rest of the time was mostly my mind feeding itself. I came up with some nonsense words and could kind of feel the nature of the sigil, but there was nothing distinct. Before dismissing DB I asked him if anything had happened. "Make it [the interpretation] up yourself. I'm not here to" something. I feel into a deeper trance immediately when I addressed him. He was jealous. I believe when I used the formal evocation he thought I was going to give him some attention, and was kind of miffed when asked to play second fiddle. I didn't call him again on day three.

---

The one time I did get contact was on Friday after the second day, while I was meditating. It started as just a stray thought about the Red King, but I followed it and it eventually turned into a full conversation. The most useful thing I found is that he likes stories. He makes the world up for creation's sake and likes it when we do the same. The whole communication had the feel of a bedtime story. For most of the time I saw him as a young prince, like in the Little Prince fairy tales. I also imagined him as a great red emperor dragon, and he seemed to like that. The dragon slept but it's spirit, as the prince, could walk around talking to us characters and even approach his sleeping body as if to show me – look, see? This is me.

My experience with lucid dreaming helped a lot here. Being called up like this is his version of lucidity. That describes the dynamic pretty well, and it was intimidating because I wasn't the main character of my life anymore. He was friendlier than I expected – he said that we're important too as characters, even if we're not the main ones. The danger isn't that he wants to hurt us but that he operates by dream logic. He's not lying, but his truth is whatever the dream presents at the moment. Not hostile, just schizophrenic, and as in a dream the whole scene can turn dark very fast if you say the wrong thing.

I asked about his relationship to the other godforms. It seemed to take him a minute to remember them, and then said that "I'm different from them." It seems to me that he and the Queen are somewhat separate from the rest. I said, "If you don't mind me asking, what about the Queen?" Then he was quiet and the daydream became strained and still. I thought I heard him talk but it wasn't coherent. A whitish blob appeared in my imagination that felt impossible to move. I poked it but nothing else happened.

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On the third day I called my tulpa using a formal evocation, which gave him more power as I'd hoped. I had him stand or sit next to me we both drank the herbal tea I'd made. It's the first time aside from the incident with Ellis last week where he's stood by me in a ritual and felt like an equal. He's gotten much stronger. He asked me to hold my focus on the sigil, creating a link while he jumped ahead and tried to reach the King. After a minute, though, he came back and said that "the door's locked" and we wouldn't be getting through. My candles that day wouldn't stay lit even when shielded from wind, even though they'd burned easily in the still air on day two.

Aside from that all I have to report are some bird sightings. The little grey ones were tapping on a tree when I walked up the first two days. On day one I saw a group of wild turkeys on the walk back. Second day, as soon as I spoke the last word of my banishing a mourning dove shot through the trees about ten feet in front of me; not the first one I've seen this week. And on the third day a steller's jay – local relative of the bluejay, which is symbolically connected to my tulpa – came to knock something against the tree overhead while we were working.

Three times per week is definitely working out well. It's more of a commitment but it helps if I'm not successful on the first day, and it confirms the connection if I am. Liber Sigillum isn't much help from here on. My plans for next week will use a more meditative approach, quieter but no less difficult than before. As for Conjunctio, I have no idea what that will look like. It depends what happens next week.

The lead to gold concept is interesting. You could use black to represent lead and then something to show the transition. It's art, use your imagination.