The DKMU Cult and the 23'rd

[Psy Hacker]

kultwatch.org 3/17/2014
Every 23rd is sacred to the world's newest secret society, the DKMU or Dominus Kaotica Marauder Underground, which some say, may be a dangerous cult. My wife and I spoke to a leader of the group over the internet, who goes only by, "The Mad Prophet of Gore and Fluffy Bunnies," which is a reference to Death and Sex. He refused to show his face, and disguised his voice. What happened was terror beyond description. He said, "Call me MadBun," then began chanting in an unknown demonic sounding tongue he called, Discordian. The sound was so real, we were terrified. We could feel the presence of evil coming out of our computer monitor.
We turned off our monitor, but there was somehow a strange symbol that appeared in the upper right hand corner of our screen that did not disappear for at least five seconds. Then, we somehow heard his voice, even though I had unplugged the speakers, mumbling something about the number 23. We were very disturbed by this.
That is when we noticed every 23rd of the month, we suddenly see a bunch of strange symbols all over our town. Members of the religious group worship a goddess of sex and death and some have been known to deface websites with their "sigils."
We attempted a second interview with "Madbun."
"Hey, I was just praying to Ellis, didn't mean to scare you."
"What is your goal?"
"To assault reality by the power of the name of Satan, and the light of Lord Lucifer."
"Why do you use such strong words?"
"We are demons living in Hell. We are tired of being tormented by the gods. We have decided to free ourselves by becoming gods and making war on Valhalla."
"Does your cult engage in child sacrifice?"
"No, we would never send our children to public schools."
"Why do you worship Satan?"
"Satan is the symbol of the Great Rebel. Whether he is real or not, doesn't matter to me personally. In fact, I cannot speak for the DKMU, because the DKMU is really anyone that realizes this reality is bullshit, so let's fuck it up. Anyone fucking shit up is DKMU. I invoke the name of Satan because Satan is the most powerful name on Earth. Say, 'Satan,' out loud with me right now. "
"No."
"Satan doesn't care. He doesn't need your worship. I invoke Babylon 23."
"What are you talking about?"
"Babylon 23 means something like loving the Great Whore of Babylon which is really accepting the beauty of sex and reality of death. It's a symbol."
"Is it true that your cult believes every 23rd day of the month to be what you call, 'Ellis Day' or 'Eris Day' in which you enact your agenda?"
"In my opinion, there is nothing sacred about 23, and nothing makes the 23rd of the month special, except for the fact that twenty-three is the number of, Eris, Goddess of Chaos. Maybe more Marauders propagate on that day without even thinking about it."
"Does the DKMU you sacrifice animals?"
"Some of us do eat meat."
"Thank you for your time, Madbun."
"Mahalo."

[OmniZero]

wat?

[Drakonach]

Umm.. What...

[Infidel]

LOLOLOLOLOL! Epic troll. I wish I knew who this was.

[Ringtail]

I can't find a kultwatch.org. There's a cultwatch.com and a worldcultwatch.org, maybe we could submit this to one of them.

[Tara Flower]

This rings a bell; I believe one of our own DKMU people wrote it as a satire, like the Double Crowley ones.

[Ringtail]

Sure it was. We're not famous enough to have people writing about us.

[Shaytanah]

It's great.   ;D

But now I'm curious...do members of the DKMU observe the 23rd?

[Psy Hacker]

It's great.   ;D

But now I'm curious...do members of the DKMU observe the 23rd?

Some of us do, yes.

[Kiki]

I uhhh actually do. But not related to anything DKMU. I try to reserve that evening monthly to get drunk as a skunk with the goddess Eris.

[Sheosyrath]

Sure it was. We're not famous enough to have people writing about us.

Actually, it's happened before and in a serious nature hahaha.. gotta remember the group has been around for years and there were times where we were quite prominent in the chaos scene.

[Sheosyrath]

Either way this is hilarious. xD