surfing the seas of sui generis, stasis satiates (hi im oz)

[oz]

welp i swear that i already typed this out and posted this earlier, but hey I guess it didn't end up posting. large oof size. so here i am typing this again.


hi, im oz. many of you might know of me already from my active ramblings on the dicksword server (hail, cowdicks!!!), where i operate under the nickname F̧́r̕͟@3ŗ̷͡ Ç̵TאNL͞͝ (Frater CT [Cito] א [Aleph, which as a Hebrew letter is actually a composite character, made of two Yuds separated by a Vav, where typically the upper Yud represents the ineffable natuire of G-d, the lower Yud representing the Jewish people , and the Vav the barrier between them; for me personally it's just a codification of the hermetic principle "As Above, So Below" with the hidden ternary made explicit (tldr top Yud is "Divine nature", bottom Yud is "mundane nature", and Vav is the link between the two, namely consciousness, intent, will, whatever u wanna call it] NL [Nihil] where Cito Nihil = I Cite Nothing. wow what a long explanation sorry). im not your most typical chaote in the sense that i don't really have much practical experience with my magickal practices, as i have some block that really prevents me from engaging in that modality unless there are very special circumstances involved. that, or copious amounts of nmda antagonists, those are more or less my shortcuts lol.in any case, as the prior sentence sort of implied, i would identify as a neoshamanic individual, and one who surfs the seas of consciousness, exploring altered states of consciousness in order to better understand this consensus reality thingy i seem to be trapped in. as far as my magickal modalities, i am heavily fond of hermetic tradition, as i somewhat identify as an alchemist, though really only in the loosest sense; to me, khaos magick is really just a modern day manifestation of the ideologies of hermeticism, without all the strictures and all the needless pomposity that tends to be attached to more "formalized" magickal practices. i am not really one for pomp and circumstance, nor for ritual unless it's something i have already managed to ritualize, so i tend to try and prefer to find ways to just cut to te point directly. problem is, i can't do that on command just yet, but i am working on it! part of the reason i engage with dkmu so heavily, as my fellow dickmoos really give me a perspective that i lack in my day to day life, considering i can't really engage most people on this occult/esoteric modality without really isolating myself from them.

aside from alchemy and hermeticism, the conceptions of technomancy appeal to me greatly, as i have always been what one might have dubbed a "hacker" (if they happened to have gone to MIT in the 1950s and were using the term in its original sense, e.g. an individual who engages with systems in novel and unexpected ways in order to more effectively enforce will over them); my primary aptitude as a hoomans happens to be web development/software dev/computer science and operating with tech, so naturally something like technomancy as a concept is very close to my heart. i am still very much inchoate in most of my praxis as far as magick goes, as aforementioned, but hey, maybe that'll change if i really start taking it more seriously!

oh, i also must mention, i suppose, thanks to the kindness of the one and only Soror FishSTIX (ily u awesome), I have also been able to find confidence and drive in my role as a sort of "sacred jester" [hEi? YIo qAH?!!!], in the sense that i have a tendency to represent things in ways that are somewhat contradictory or unpredictable, not to be difficult but rather in a manner akin to the way zen masters utilize koans to shock their students into sudden states of satori. i just call things out as i see them, and often with a bit of a sardonic/facetious bite, but it's not because i have any desire to make others feel foolish or embarrassed by their perspectives or expressions. it's more about being blunt and trying to express things in a way that i feel other individuals  have not considered before. it may not make the most sense, but i assure you, if you pay attention to me long enough, you will see it manifest and it will make far more sense then.

aside from all that nonsense, i also am what one might consider a creative, through and through. to enumerate:

i make music. you can find it at https://ozmodic.bandcamp.com/follow_me . i recently took about a 1 year hiatus or so from making music, but i am finally getting back into the routine of things, so, i hope you enjoy what you hear if you check it out!

i write a lot, be it poetry, lyrics, academic analyses, or really just rambling streams of consciousness. if you have interacted with me before, you already know about this. if you don't, well, givei t time, you'll see my writings surface here and there.

i also engage in making glitch and digital abstract art as far as the visual sphere of expression goes; attached to this post is my favorite logo that i made ages ago in the heyday of my glitch edit binges. when it comes to visual art,  i'm not the greatest at drawing and such things, but i really do love just sketching around and building more and more ocmplex constructs from geometric primitives; it's definitely a unique situation for me though as i have the whole aphantasia thing (lol so much of magick hinges on visualization, well, wtf do u do when u no can visualize?!?), so it's really more just about the process of building up something and never really knowing what it is until it becomes what it is. for me, drawing is more about channeling the energy around me than working towards a specific goal!

in any caes, if you like the glitch edits, etc, you can check out an absurdly large amount more on my IG, https://instagr.am/ozmodic

well i think that's about all of it for now. thanks for your time and consideration, i shall now melt back into the current and allow life to pass around me as i idly observe. any questions? comments? concerns? i would be surprised if so, as most people tend to sorta just write me off as insane and more often than not (though it goes unsaid), i am pretty confident that people might see me as narcissistic. which is really funny because i  am full of such intense dislike for self that i couldn't even imagine what it must be like to be self-obsessed to that level. sorry ill try to not be TOO depressing and TOO real, but eh, that's another day maintaining the status quo on the assault against the status quo. meanwhile, im just gonna sit here and sip on my grape juice, and wonder what it ust be like one day to be regarded as more than a nascent oistar.

i hope to meet all of you and engage withyou more and more as time goes by. thanks for your time! sorry i wasted it with such a massive wall of text, but it's just yeet another hypersigil!!!!!


and upon this mark, i unite the worlds
if hope still pervades your mind, i suggest ye abandon it
and allow the potential of an infinity unrealized to invade.

let's be friends.